Letting go just to say " I LOVE YOU"
...there is always pain in letting go but i realized that when i decided to let go...it was then that my love story begins...
I am working as college instructor and the man with whom i am in love with is also an employee of a private establishment... we knew each other through friends... it was not a story of a "love at first sight" ... He did not say he love me but showed to me some actions that made me feel somehow i am special.. He would asked me for a dinner or to ride in his bike and roam around the city... at first, there was no display of affection or intimacy but lately as we used to go out together there was a tingling effect of togetherness... i am 28 and he is 30 but we felt like we were high school students having the love to discover and taste its sweetness for the first time... but as we go along the relationship I ask for a commitment and then suddenly all things turned upside down... he had a story and i perfectly understand why he never asked me for a commitment, he is a certified single man but i admit that with his past he harbored hatred and mistrust in his heart... it seems i came at a wrong time... in a wrong place... we stop seeing each other for a time being.. just to realized how much we missed the presence.. the warmth... the affection. But things turned out worst as i insisted for a commitment.. until finally i let go of the bird whom i could not nestled.. tears fell down as i removed his number in my phone book.. as i watch him pass by alone with his bike... as i imagine myself being with him.. cuddled in his arms... how the decision i made turn me a loser. Days passed and seeing him around me became seasonal where in fact our working places are just 1klm. away. But really love holds on... he never said that word to me but one night i received a text message from him that goes this way... " will you take me back again for good?... i want to love and be loved with no one else but you." i don't know what to say, i felt the lights went off and there were just falling embers... i did not text him back.. i waited for few days more and he asked me for a dinner... and we pour out all that we kept inside our hearts for the last 4 months of not seeing each other... we amend things slowly... and now we are enjoying our relationship.. sharing love.. sharing fun, tears and dreams... i let go just to say " i love him" i don't want to suffocate him inside my heart.. i just want to love him so i let him go... birds are birds and they are to fly to be complete... but they always come back where they are nestled... where they are loved... where they have the life complete... and so my love let him live and hopefully to the fullest.. we are back with our normal escapades together and praying that someday we will be blessed to be united and live the rhapsody of love.