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      I wish I hadn't fallen in Love

     


We both work together.  I have a girlfriend and she's married.  Both of us having our own battles with our respective relationships.  One thing led to another and I became very attracted to her, she the same for me.  At first I thought that she was filling an emotional and physical void for me and I for her.  That it was as far as it would get, but I was wrong.  I fell in love with her and she with me.  We can only see each other at work and other planned opportunities.  Unfortunately, her relationship at home is heading to a divorce(husband an alcoholic) and with 2 kids it's very stressful for her.  Our job is also challenging, dealing with mentally challenged adults.  Long story short, she brings that stress to work and gets angry even at me.  Making accusations about me not caring for the people we serve, when she herself admitted that things have gotten way better than they were because of me.  Anyway, she makes me feel like I should quit, since I'm not caring enough or at least as much as she cares for them.  She also makes me feel somewhat worthless and inadequate for the job.  I wish I didn't love her so, and this way I wouldn't care about her opinion.  She's not a bad person, just extremely passionate about the people we serve.  Which is great, but when things don't go right for her she shouldn't take it out on me or the one who loves her.  It's difficult to talk to her when she's angry and I feel like any minute she's going to say I'm tired of you, I want to end this.  It would break my heart, but if it make her happy so be it.  Bad thing is I swore I would never fall in love again because of the pain of loosing it and here I go. 

 

I just wish I hadn't fallen in love.....or do I?

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