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      Love only for adults...lies


well I am seventeen its hard to believe that love exist in that age or at least that what many people tell me, that you can only love when your an adult I dont agree...

Love exist no matter how old you are!

I met this guy named Jose who really is everything I dreamed off. Peruvian, dark mid long hair, nice almost black eyes and incredible shoulders that made me shiver just looking at them! I allways wished just to get a little closer to him than the stupid hello`s and bye`s at the beginning and end of the day. So after weeks of constant starring into his beautifull face and trying to smell his aftershave when he passed me. He went up to me and asked me how i was doing and if i would be ok with him walking me home...I was extremly happy i was just out of the real world for a second, dreaming of me and him close, together alone!

Only problem, my father who is against any relationships of mine, i still let Jose walk with me. At the walk we had a nice talk, having fun the whole time even though it was only 20 minutes i was the happiest girl on earth in that moment. We did this for a couple of weeks and built up a great friendship that would grow each day more and more it was incredible. And the fact that we were hiding from my father was making it all a little bit more intersting, thats at least what we both thought.

After a while we wrode home with the bus and before we left the bus he kissed me with his soft lips mine...

I really cant explain how i felt because the only thing that happened after that was that he had to go with his friends and he didnt want to loose his chance of kissing me. I still was in a sort of trance which i only got out of when i got home in a chaos of family life.

The next week nothing big happend he walked me home and we talked but then the last day of school and also the last day before we would not see us anymore for a couple of weeks we went to a park. Where we walked alone left our friends behind and stood by a tree. It was nice an sunny and we were swetting alot. *smile* But then all of the sudden he turned me around and pushed me gently against the tree where he held me hips tightly and kissed me. We made out with an incredible power and passion i was stunned. He hold me tight didnt let go but didnt force me. After the long kiss he looked me straight in the eye and touched my cheek smiling and said I really love you and i will miss you...

I thought he ment the couple of weeks we were going to be apart and gave him a hugged and kissed him on his lips and replied with cant wait until i see you again... I wished i would have never said this sentence he loosened out of the hug and pushed away...looking at me with his eyes. It seemed as if he is trying to look in my mind with his look. I starred back hoping to recieve an explaination for his sudden change of mood.

We werent able to talk much longer since we had to go both home. We gave us a small hug and kiss and he again said "I love you dont forget" and left. I watched him walk down the street kicking the stones to the side and then turned back to me and gave me a weak wave.

I tried to contact him as soon as i arrived at my vacation point but his phone was off and he didnt respond to my mails. After 5 months i recieved a message from his best friend, he moved back to peru and has no real home and thats why he cant reach me. He works on the streets as a carmechanik...

I was crushed, hurt and couldnt breath i didnt know what to do. I just started to cry and couldnt stop i cried and cried. I had him, i finally had him and now he is gone. "I will miss you" thats what he ment...again i started crying nobody knew why but me and his best friend.

A week later I got a letter from peru saying

My love,

Sorry for leaving you but i had no choise my father died an now someone has to take care of the family. I wished everything would have turned out different because you were the first girl i really loved...

I am missing you and will allways miss you!

I love you

Bye Your Jose

PS. Never forget the tree under we kissed.

I starred at the letter wanting to cry but couldnt so thats why i decided to go to our kissing spott and walked to the tree and just wanted to feel what i felt while kissing. But then i suddenly saw some writing in the tree...

I will miss you

I looked at it and smiled and cried and sat down next to the tree. I sat there starred at my message from jose that will allways be there and cried for another 3 hours. Till i started to smile again touch the scratched message and then walked away as if nothing ever happend...

The only thing i thought in that moment was...

...I will miss you too Jose..........


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