I once loved like in a fairy tale
I knew he was my 'once in a lifetime', the one who'll always matter, the one who'll always be different, and the one who'll always stand best.
He gave my life back. The music I lost, I began to sing and dance to again. The poetry and romance, I lost faith in and had forgotten, grew within me, all over again. It felt like I was alive for the first time. It felt brand new. The fairy tale felt real.
He had the most passionate kisses, and the warmest embrace. He made the sweetest whispers and drew the deepest breath. He looked through me with his eyes and he spoke to my deepest soul. He caressed every inch of me with a single touch of my hand and beside him I felt the world was perfect and I was complete.
If anyone had seen me dance beside him, he would’ve noticed I did not see anybody else. If anyone had seen me walk by him, he would’ve noticed I owned the world. If anyone had seen me watching him as he slept, he would’ve noticed I was looking at my life, reflected on a man fast asleep.
I counted the minutes, the hours, the days and the months. I wanted to remember when he came and how. I wanted to remember every moment, every word, and every breath of laughter. I wanted to write a fairy tale love story. The only one I’ll ever have in my life.
I loved him more than I could’ve imagined. I loved more than love itself. No tears, no rainbow, no wedding bells or song, could ever explain the way I offered myself, to the painful reality that was a fairy tale love not mine. No fear, no hesitation, and no holding back.
He doesn’t know that now, and perhaps he never will. I had walked away empty, my heart, my life and my soul all within his hands. There are some things you lose in love that you can never take back. I never said a word. I simply walked out, for I knew I can never be the woman that he would want to look at every single day of his life. For I was just a spice, and his heart belonged to someone else. So I left... Even when I knew that it my lifetime... I would never feel that way again. So, there was I, too afraid to face my decision. I simply disappeared, for I cannot say goodbye. God! No, I cant come face to face with him, and watch my fairy tale fade before my very eyes. I chose the easier way out. No confrontations, no unbearable goodbyes. He’ll never know I did not cry, but my heart bled as my tears stayed silent. He’ll never know I still dream about him. He’ll never know my eyes still get watery sometimes… at the weirdest times. While driving fast in my car, while I dance, while I run around, while I watch a movie… yes I cry. He doesn’t know now, and perhaps he never will…or perhaps, he wouldn’t care anyway.
My time is up. I’ve taken the last flight out that led me nowhere. Thankful yet that I still felt somehow that love is real even if it ends too soon. I know now that love is great. It is indeed what makes the world go around. It is what makes one reach for the stars. It is what makes one altogether scared, brave, shattered and complete. The greatest of all sacrifices…not say you’re in pain, if to preserve the one you love’s happiness.
I go on, my life ahead of me. There’s no turning back. I’m not afraid to face anything now, not because I’m strong but because I’m dejected and the world cant touch me now. The beauty disregarded. I don’t need any of that. I’ve seen enough. I got what I needed. My life story closes as the fairy tale ends. There’s nothing left to write now…