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      Love makes dead to Alive.......Alive to dead.......

     


apter Six††March 1st, 2004†After a great Sunday, Monday is always a disaster. Today we found a defect in our code and we are asked to fix it immediately. I had to stay till 11:00 PM in the night to complete it. I returned back to room at 12:00 Midnight. My room mate Vinod was waiting for me.†"What happened?" Vinod asked. "Why are you so late?""Don't ask. Today we had to deliver a critical fix and it took so long" "By the way Rahul is very angry upon you""Why? Oh.. What can I do? Priya forced me to Juhu beach. Otherwise I have no intention of moving out of my home""I don't know. He was spreading rumors""Rumors?? What rumors?""Rumors about you and Priya""Priya is just my friend. What is wrong in this? Why is he after me?""I don't know. Now you are trapped. People will start teasing you with the name of that girl" he said laughing. "And I am not going to leave this opportunity. Now I got you""Come on. Stop it man" I said beating him with the towel in my hand.†It did not stop with Vinod. The word spread across our friends that I have a Girl Friend. My friends started teasing me with the name of Priya. Some of them went too far saying that we are engaged. †"You did not say that you got engaged" My PM asked me one day."Nothing like that. People are just teasing me" I said."Why don't you bring her to the project party next week?" he asked.†I did not have any answer. People started asking parties for my engagement. Whenever I receive a phone call, they started looking at me as if I got a phone call from my fiancee. Thank god Priya is not in Infosys. If she is in Infosys, she would have known about this and I would have been in an embarrassing situation.†"I will ask you one question. Answer me seriously" Vinod asked one day."What?""Do you love Priya?" he asked."Oh..No.. Not again. Stop it" I said showing some irritation in my voice."I am not teasing you. I am asking you seriously" he said."Why do you ask?" I said."Because, I feel that you are in love with Priya.† Now a days you talk more about Priya and less about yourself. I am your room mate. I am your friend. You cannot hide anything from your friend" he said.I fell silent for a minute."Come on, tell me. Are you in love with her?" Vinod asked."I don't know" I said. "I got the answer" he said. "You are in love with her""How do you conclude that? I did not say that I am in love with her""You did not say 'No'. You said you don't know. Love always starts with a dilemma. Now you are in a situation that you don't know whether you are in Love or not. Think of it. Listen to your heart. Spend sometime alone. Come out of the dilemma. You will definitely find an answer" he said.I did not speak a word. I did not understand what to say. "By the way, you two make a good pair" Vinod said leaving.†I don't know whether Vinod started this conversation seriously or to tease me but I started thinking of what Vinod said. Am I in Love? †Priya - It means 'one who is liked by everyone'. In one word it means 'Beloved'. What does she mean to me? I always thought that Love stories exist only in movies. They never exist in real world. But what is this called? Is this Love? I don't know. I can say that I like her very much. But there is a difference between liking and loving. You can like many people but you can love only one. Do I like any other person as much as I like Priya? No. She shouts at me when I am late. She beats me when I am lazy. She corrects me when I am wrong. She consoles me when I am in depression. She encourages me when I try something. She admires me when I achieve anything. No one in the world ever has come so close to me or my heart.† I can't imagine myself without her. I want to share my life with her. I don't want to lose her. Is this called Love? I donít know. But If this is called Love, then yes.. I am in Love with her.†I AM IN LOVE WITH PRIYA†Now What am I supposed to do?††††Chapter Seven††April 27th, 2004†"Propose to her" Vinod said."What?" "Come on man. Tell her that you love her. Propose to her. Otherwise how does she know that you love her?" "No" I said. "I cannot do that""Why?" "I don't know. I can't do that" "Are you mad? Don't be stupid. Go and tell her" "What if she doesnít accept?" I argued."Ah.. The same classical doubt. See. If she accepts, itís well and good. If she does not accept, there is nothing to lose" "Hmmm... I will try" I said."Let me give you an advice. Make sure the day that you tell her is a special day. If itís a special day, your proposal looks special. Again don't ask me how it works. But that's just my gut feeling. Now All the Best" Vinod said.†I have seen in many movies how boys propose to girls and vice versa. But I never thought that I would fall in the same situation. I bet proposing a girl is the most difficult thing in the world. You ask a girl to be your life partner and you expect her to take the decision of her life then and there itself. This is related to a life of two persons. After much thought, I decided to tell her on her birthday. That's a special day. Her birthday is still three months away. I have ample time to prepare for myself. †All these three months I watched as many movies as I can. I interviewed many couples and gathered the minutes of their first proposals. I read many novels and came out with a beautiful poem. I wrote it on a paper and practiced it everyday. I searched hundreds of shops for a good gift to give to her on her birthday.†I prepared myself completely for the D-Day.†July 22nd, 2004 - The D-Day†"Happy Birthday Priya" I said giving her the boquet I brought. Its 8:30 in the evening.I reserved a couple seat in one of the best restaurants in pune. "The restaurant looks good" She said."Yes. This is one of the best in the city. The food here is very delicious. Order what you like" I said handing her the menu card."Candle light dinner, good music. Itís so beautiful here. What's the matter?" She asked."N...Nothing. Just wanted to give you a surprise on your birthday" I said."Good. I am impressed Mr.Aaryan" Though I have practiced for three months, I could not gather the courage. Forget the poem; here I am searching for words on how to start."I will tell her after the dinner" I thought.We finished the dinner in thirty minutes. But those thirty minutes were like thirty years. I never felt so tensed in my entire life. "Priya.." I called. My voice was so low that even I can't hear it clearly."Priya.." I called her again. "What?" she asked."I want to say something to you" I said. "What is it?" My mind went blank for a second. "Where did you buy this dress? Itís beautiful" I said. "Oh... this one? I bought it in a shop near Andheri Station" she said."What is the name of the shop?" I asked."I don't remember. But if you want to buy a dress for yourself, let me tell you that itís a ladies shop" she said laughing.I gave foolish smile. The time is passing slowly. I felt as if all the seconds are suddenly converted to hours."Let's go" she said. "Itís already 10:00 PM. I have a meeting early in the morning tomorrow. I have to prepare for it""OK.. Let's leave" I said.†I am a fool. All the efforts and all the preparations that I made over these three months have gone waste. I was not able say to Priya that I love her.† I was so tensed that I even forgot to give her the birthday gift I bought. Instead I was asking her about her dress and all. What a coward I am. I don't know how people say the three letter word 'I Love You' so easily. Why? Why did I felt so tensed? I don't know. Don't even ask me. I have no answer.††††††††††††††††††††Chapter Eight††Vinod laughed at me when he heard what I have done. But I could not help myself. Months passed by. But I did not tell Hari Priya. Every time I tried to tell her, I talk about everything in the world other than what is necessary. August 8th - the day we first met, November 12th - Diwali, January 1st 2005 - New Year day - all the days I tried to tell her but could not succeed. Meanwhile my father got transferred to Hyderabad and I going to Mumbai on weekends stopped.†January 15th, 2005.†"What is your problem?" Vinod asked. "Why do you feel so tensed?""I cannot say it to her" I said."But Why?""I am afraid" I said."Afraid? Of what?""I don't know how she will react if I say that I love her. What if she doesnít take it positively? What if she stops talking to me after that? What if she abandons our friendship?""Why do you think like that? It does not happen that way""No.. Girls are very sensitive in this matter and Priya is not an exception to it. She is so sensitive that she cries when she sees some tragedy scene in a movie. If she feels bad about what I said and leaves me, I cannot bear it""She likes you or may be she loves you. Just give her a chance. Express yourself""No... I don't have courage to take that chance. I cannot lose her because of my foolishness""You are her best friend. It will make her accept your love" Vinod said trying to convince me."I don't want our friendship to come in between my love" I said."What do you mean?""She must not feel forced to accept my proposal because of my friendship. She must not accept it just because I feel bad if she won't accept""So?""Let me explain. Some people do not fall in love. They are forced to fall in Love. Say a boy proposes to a girl. Let me tell you what most of the girls think - I need to marry someone. This guy has proposed me. He is not bad. He looks god. Let me accept the proposal. The same happens with the boys also. Here a person is forced by other. And believe me 90% of Love stories start from one person and that one person forces the other to love him or her. May be afterwards the boy or girl starts liking him truly. But its not complete from both sides""What do you want to say?""In my opinion, true love begins only at one point. It spreads to other. But in my case, I donít want that to happen. I want it to happen from both sides. I don't want to force my love up on Priya""You are talking like a person with a lot of experience""You don't need experience for it. Just fall in Love once and you will understand" I said."I will do one thing. I will ask Priya and will get her opinion about you. What do you say?" Vinod said."No, I don't want a third person involving in this." I said."Then, How will you know that Priya loves you or not?" Vinod said. "How many days will you wait like this?""I don't know. I only know that I love a girl and it will take me to her""This is foolishness" Vinod said."No." I said. "Love needs patience. If you have no patience to wait for your partner, you cannot love her""These dialogues look good in movies especially those Yash Chopra movies involving Shahrukh Khan but not in real life. You are mad." Vinod said leaving.†The discussion I had with Vinod made me think. Is Vinod correct? Does true love exist only in movies or novels? Do I need to take a chance? Do I need to express myself before her? Somehow I did not feel convincing. I am in a dilemma. I could not make any decision.†"Go" Vinod said one day. "Tell her. Who knows she might also be thinking in the same way" "But..""Don't think too much. I respect your thoughts. Whatever you say is good to listen but it does not happen in practical world. Be practical. Just use your brain"I started thinking of it. May be Vinod is right. I am thinking too much. I must take a chance. Finally I decided to take one last chance on the Valentine's Day. †But, Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans. You never know what lies aheadÖ†††††††††Chapter Nine†January 25th, 2005.†I decided to propose to Priya on Valentines Day. But everything does not happen as you like. Today my PM called me and told that I need to fly to USA for my project before this weekend. I need to report in USA on Monday, January 31st. I have waited for this onsite opportunity from the day I joined Infosys. But as the onsite opportunity stands before me I donít feel like leaving Hari Priya and going to onsite.†"Congrats. This calls for a party" Priya said when I told her about the onsite."Sure" I said. I am with mixed feelings. But the sadness of leaving Priya has overtaken the joy of going to onsite. "So, for how many months are you going?" She asked."I don't know. Itís a long term assignment. I am going to Hyderabad tomorrow. My parents are waiting for me. There is lot of shopping left" I said."We will not be meeting after today" she said sadly."The flight is on Saturday night. It goes through Mumbai. The time between the connecting flights is four hours. You can come to airport if you want" I said. "I will definitely come to the airport. You will not leave from India without my farewell" she said.†I left to Hyderabad the next day. I was busy with all the shopping those three days in Hyderabad. Its winter time in USA. So, most of my shopping list included the items required to save myself from the cold out there in USA. My mom packed all the Indian food items that last for at least two months. My accommodation has been taken care by my friends there in abroad. My parents became very excited about me going to onsite. They felt very happy for me. But I was not happy. I was not at all excited. †"What happened?" Mom asked me. "Why are you so dull?""Nothing" I said. I did not tell anyone about Priya. I don't know what Priya thinks of me. There is no point in telling my parents about her without knowing what's in Priya's mind.†January 29th, 2005.†At last the day of my travel came. I left Hyderabad after a very sentimental farewell from parents and relatives. Flight reached Mumbai at 6:40 PM. The connecting flight to Amsterdam is at 12:50 AM. From Amsterdam, there is another connecting flight to Detroit. I completed the formalities and rushed towards visitors lounge. I searched for Priya. I did not see her. I waited. I waited for TEN minutes. But those ten minutes seemed like ten hours.†"Hi...Ē† I heard Priya after those painful ten minutes."Why are you late?" I shouted at her. "Why are you shouting? If I had shouted every time you came late, I would have lost my voice by now" She said with a bit of anger in her voice."I am sorry. I came here and did not find you. I became so sad and I thought I will leave without meeting you" I said."I already told you that you will not leave India without meeting me" She said smiling."By the wayÖ Why are you late?" I asked."Traffic jam. You know this Mumbai trafficÖ But now you are going to onsite. You will get rid of this." She said.†I am leaving. I am leaving Priya. I am leaving those golden days when we spent together. I am leaving those times when we had minor fights with each other and apologizing to each other the next minute, the days I always used to come late and Priya used to shout at me, the days when we used to travel to Mumbai together, the days of happiness, the days when we were the only two in our world. I am leaving my most valuable gift.†"What happened? What are you thinking?" Priya asked."NothingÖ" I said. My eyes were filled with tears."Hey, you are crying" She said.I could not speak. She took my hand in her hand. "Don't worry. Everything will be alright" She said and gave her handkerchief."I am sorry. I became a bit emotional" I said. "By the way when is your VISA getting processed?""Itís in the process. I may get it in a month or two" she said."So, Do Wipro has any clients near New York?" I asked. I am going to Hartford. Itís nearly hundred miles away from New York City."Yeah... But my client is in Dallas" She said. "Dallas is very far from your place" †I did not care. I want her to be in USA very soon. Those four hours flew like four minutes. "Now its time for me to leave" I said. I heard the announcement to appear for security check for passengers traveling to Amsterdam by Northwest Airlines. "All the Best. I will miss you" she said holding my hand. Tears were rolling down her cheeks. She was crying.†I took her hand in my hand, gave her a tight hug and left the place. I did not turn back. If I turn back, I know that I cannot board the plane. That's my last meeting with Priya. †"Bye... Priya. Bye... India""Welcome to United States of America"†††Chapter Ten†United States of America - a country which considers itself as a big brother to all other countries, a country which has become the destination of almost every software engineer, a country which is full of opportunities, a country which is poor in heritage but rich in money, a country where you can find a mix of each and every country in the world. Of course everyone knows what USA is. It needs no introduction. People come here with dollar dreams in their eyes. But, what about me? †"How is USA?" Priya asked me when I called her."I don't know" I said. "Itís very cold here. So, I did not get an opportunity to go and look around""How is your work?" "Work is good though itís not much different from what I do in offshore" I said.†I call Priya everyday. I miss her very much. Without Priya I feel as if I am left alone in this big continent. I am not myself when I entered USA. I left myself with Priya. Now itís only me. Just me. The only hope I have is that one day she will come here and we can relive those golden moments together.†"How is your love story going?" my roomie Avinash asked one day. "How do you know about it?" I asked."I heard it. Rahul is a good friend of mine." he said."I am gonna kill this person next time when I see him" I said."Too late my friend. The whole Pune DC knows about your story" Avinash said laughing."Its nothing like that" I said. "We are just good friends""Don't try to fool me. The way you talk with Priya, the time you spend thinking of her... I can easily say that you are in love with her. You miss Priya very much. Am I correct?" "Yeah. I miss her very much" I said."Does she know that you love her?" "No and please don't start all over again asking me to propose to her. Itís a long story" I said.†After I came to USA I thought of proposing to her once or twice. But the idea never took shape. Meanwhile, I learned how to play guitar. Priya likes music very much. When I meet her, I want to surprise her by playing her favorite tunes on the guitar. I became punctual. In Pune, she was always behind me teaching me what to do and what not to do. I just want to become an ideal person which she always wanted me to become.† †May 17th, 2005.†Four months passed by. One day I asked my Project Manager whether I can get a leave for one month so that I can go to India."What?" my Project Manager Praveen asked."I need a leave for one month" I asked."But why?" he asked. "Is everything fine back at home?" he asked."Everyone is fine" I said."It has been only six months since you came here. Why do you want to go to India?" he asked."Itís something personal" I said. "Please, I need a leave for one month""I am sorry" he said. "I cannot send you back in the middle of a project unless there is a proper reason" he said.I did not speak. I cannot reveal the reason to him."If you go back now, you will have to go back permanently. I cannot grant you leave but I can send you back to offshore" he said."No problem" I said. "That's even better for me"Itís better to stay in India with Priya rather than staying here at onsite without her."I need some time. I need to identify resources to replace your position in the project" he said."Thanks Praveen. Thank you very much" I said.†I went back to home with full of happiness. I never thought that my project manager would approve this so easily. I went to him with a little hope of getting one month leave. But got more than what I wished for. I will be going back to India. I will be meeting Priya. Yes... I will be meeting Priya. That day I had a sound sleep for the first time since I came to onsite.††††††††††††††††††††††Chapter Eleven††May 17th, 2005.†"I am coming to USA" Priya said when I called her."When and where?" I asked."In a month" She said. "I got admission in Harward University""That's great" I said. "Harward is in Boston which is only one and half hour drive from here.""Cool" She said.†I did not expect that golden days will come so soon. Priya is coming to USA. And that too, she is coming to Boston which is very close by. I could not believe it. I can meet her every weekend. Even I can meet her everyday. Its just one and half hour drive from my place. I am the happiest person in the world.†One month passed by like one second. I went to airport to receive Priya. I saw her after five months. I cried with happiness. We went to Harward School of Business. What can I say about Harward? The hostel, the classrooms, the library, the canteen, each and every building of Harward is simply amazing. The students who are studying seemed to be like future CEOs of multi national companies. And here, my Priya is going to be one of them.†May 17th, 2005.†Itís the first weekend for Priya in USA. I took her to the New York City. New York has always represented United States for many years. Even a small kid can identify USA by seeing the picture of Statue of Liberty. There are many places to visit in New York like Empire State, Brooklyin bridge, Times Square, Madame Tussade museum, IntrepidÖ The list is endless. But Statue of Liberty always stands high among the attractions.†"Itís the right time for expressing your love" Vinod said. "ButÖ""Don't think. Just say it to her. Everything will be fine""Thanks Vinod" I said."Today I will tell her. You need to help me in this""I am always there for you. Tell me what you want" "How shall I propose her? I have not made any preparations" "Don't worry. Just listen to me. If you love someone truly, there is no need of any preparations. Just tell her what you want to say. Just tell her how much you love her. Just be yourself. That's enough. Your heart will speak for yourself. There is no need of any preparation"†Vinod's advice filled me with courage and confidence. For the first time, I felt that I am not going to fail in this attempt. Love needs patience but at the same time Love also needs courage. If you don't have enough courage to express yourself, your love always remains incomplete. †Priya is taking the photographs of Statue of Liberty. "Priya.." "What?" she asked. "I want to say something to you today which I should have told you long time ago""What is it?"I took her hand in mine. I kissed her hand."I Love You" I said. "Please don't ask me how much I love you. I cannot explain it in words. I can only say that I love you more than myself. I love you more than anyone can love you" I said and closed my eyes.I waited. There was a long silence. I opened my eyes slowly. Priya is not there in front of me. I looked around. She's standing at a distance. I went to her and saw that she's crying."Priya... What happened? I am sorry if I hurt you...""You idiot... Why did it take so long for you to say a simple three letter word?" she said and hugged me.†That's the most beautiful moment in my life that I will never forget. I have accomplished my mission. Now I have no worries in my life. I have Priya with me. †Suddenly Vinod came running to me shouting "Aaryan... Aaryan"†††††††††††††††††††††Chapter Twelve††May 18th, 2005†Vinod came running to me shouting "Aaryan... Aaryan... Aaryan... Aaryan... Aaryan". I opened my eyes. Avinash is calling me."What happened? Why did you spoil my sleep?" I asked."Your offshore has called. They said they will call you back in another ten minutes" he said.I did not listen to him. Thoughts filled my mind†"What a beautiful dream I had. Priya came to USA and I proposed to her. It can't get better than this. At least I told her in my dream. But I learned one thing from this dream. Love needs patience but at the same time Love also needs courage. If you don't have enough courage to express yourself, your love always remains incomplete. I must express myself before Priya. Priya accepted me in my dream and she will accept me in real also. I felt as if I got enough confidence to tell her. Nothing can go wrong now. I will tell her. Her birthday is on July 22nd, the day when I first tried to tell her but failed. I will tell her on the same day but this time I will not fail"†I did not make any preparations. I did not even try to think of what I would say to her. I just want it to happen the same way it happened in the dream. Of course she will not be in New York. But I just want to repeat the same thing I told her in my dream. I will tell her that I love her and wait for her response. Her birthday, the July 22nd will be an end to our friendship and beginning for our Love Story, a complete love story.†May 30th, 2005†"How was your vacation?" I asked.Priya went to her native place for two weeks as she goes there every year for the local festival of their village. I did not talk with Priya for two whole weeks. "Good" she said."Itís been two weeks since we have talked" I said."Hmmm. What did you do these two weeks?" She asked."Nothing. †I want to say something to you" I said."Is it? I also want to say something to you""What is it?" I asked."You tell me first, then I will tell you" she said."No.. Ladies first. So, you tell me. I will tell after you""No way, you have to go first. Otherwise I am leaving right now" she said smiling."OK.. OK.. I will tell first. The news is that... I passed my license test and I got my driving license. Now I have American Driving License" I said with pride in my voice."That's great news. Now you can buy a car" she said."Yes" I said. "Now What news do you have?""Actually It all began a few months ago. I thought of telling you. But I did not tell you. But now the time has come to tell you" she said."What is that?" I asked. Is she going to propose me? "Itís regarding my engagement. Me and Rajesh got engaged last Thursday. We are getting married on 2nd of July" she said."What? You are kidding" I said. I could not believe what she's saying."I am not kidding... you dumbo. I am serious" She said.†I did not speak. I did not expect such a jolt. My mind went blank. I rubbed my eyes. I pinched myself. Is it some dream again? Itís a dream. Come out of it. I slapped myself again. But nothing happened. Itís not a dream. What I heard is true. Priya is getting engaged. Why? Why good things happen only in dreams? People hate having bad dreams. But, Now I feel its better to have a bad dream rather than the same bad thing happen in your life.†"Congratulations.." I said. no other word got into my mind."But" she said. "I am not happy with this marriage""You are not happy? Why? What happened?" I asked.††††††††††††††††††††Chapter Thirteen††"I am not happy with this marriage" Priya said."Why? What happened?" I asked."Nothing... Leave it""Tell me what happened. Are you not happy with the bride?""No, itís not the matter" She said"What is the problem then?" I asked. "Marriage is the biggest occasion which occurs only once in a life time. You are my best friend and when I am going to get married you are not here" she said. "Will you come to my marriage?"†Priya's marriage itself is a biggest shock to me. Now she is asking me to come and attend the marriage. What can I say? How can I say to Priya that I love her? Now all the doors are closed. By the time I gained the courage and confidence to say, itís too late. I cannot disappoint Priya by saying it now. I cannot spoil her happiness. I did not answer to Priya. †"What?" Avinash asked."Yes.. Priya is getting married" I said. "Come on man. You still have a chance. Go and tell that you love her" he said."No" I said. "I cannot tell her. I cannot spoil her happiness""Have you gone mad? You say that you love her but you are just simply doing nothing if she is getting married with someone else. What kind of person are you?" I did not answer.† "Why don't you answer me?" Avinash asked me. "It seems that you don't love her""Stop it" I shouted. "I love her very much. I love more than anyone in the world". Tears are flowing down my eyes. "Itís my fault that I did not tell her. Itís my fault that I expected her to love me. Itís my fault that I developed hopes on her. I don't want to punish her for my faults by telling her now that I love her and force her to come with me. You don't know what love is. Love demands sacrifice. True love never expects anything in return. I Love her. It means that I care for her. I am there for her at all times. It does not mean that she must also love me" I said.Avinash did not say anything."Do you know why Rose is considered the symbol of Love?" I asked."Because itís beautiful" he said."Itís because itís beautiful. You feel it and enjoy it by holding it gently. Once you try to grab it, the thorns beneath it will hurt you. You cannot grab it. If itís not yours, let it go but never try to grab it" I said."I am sorry" Avinsash said. "So, what are you going to do now?""Nothing" I said. "What can I do now?""You should have told her long back" "No. Now I feel better that I did not tell her""What do you mean?" "Listen." I said. "She just treats me as a good friend. She does not love me. If I would have told her, she would have become upset. Our friendship would have ended there itself. At least she is a good friend now""I understand" Avinsash said.†Itís Priya's marriage time. She must be very happy. But, what about me? Now I don't want go to India any more. If I go back to India, the memories of Priya will haunt me. I cancelled my leave. I told my parents that I got an urgent project work and will come to India later. I had to convince my PM to cancel my leave and stop him sending me to offshore.†People say that Love is blind. Yes... Love is blind because once you are in Love you no longer see the world with your eyes. You see the world through the eyes of the person you Love. You feel the joy, the pain, the happiness, the sorrow and every moment of the person you Love in your eyes. Your eyes no longer reflect your heart. They reflect the state of the person you Love. They speak the language of your loved ones. They carry the tears of them to see happiness in their eyes.† Priya is happy and that is all what I want.†††††††††††††††††††††††††Chapter Fourteen††True Love happens only to a privileged few. I am lucky to be in that group. I have experienced the warmth of love. I have felt that passion deep in my heart. I realized the happiness one feels in Love. But Is Love always a happy path? The person I love is in India making her marriage plans. I am here sitting in USA with the golden memories of her. What do you say? Am I lucky or unlucky to be in this privileged group?†Love is the most fascinating, most wonderful and the most beautiful thing. It gives a new meaning to your life. It makes you forget all the worries in the world. It keeps you happy even if you have the load of the whole world on you. It injects into you the energy to stand against the universe for the person you love. It does not care any barriers or obstacles in its path. Itís only one side of the coin when everything ends happily. On the other side, Love has the power to take the meaning out of your life. It makes you the most unlucky person in the world. It makes you so weak that each and every moment of your life turns into hell. It brings you to a dead end where each every road for happiness is closed. So, what is Love? I don't know what love is but now I am experiencing the other side of love.†Hari Priya - I am unable to forget her. Whenever I see a girl, I see Priya. Whenever I see a couple, I see Priya and me in them.† I can feel her everywhere and every minute. Whenever I am alone, I think of her. I could not able to mingle with people as before. I was here physically but my mind and heart was with Priya. I sit before her picture on my laptop and look at it for hours. I don't cry anymore as I don't have any tears left in me. I feel myself lost in some distant world.†Priya comes into my dreams. She laughs at me, she teases me, she plays with me, she scolds me for being late, and she comes close to me and runs away from me. I want to be in the dreams where I can be with Priya, where I can sit beside her, where I can talk to her, where I can hold her hand in mine and assure her that I am there for her. But for a dream, the most necessity thing is to sleep. But I am uable to sleep. The bitterness of the truth does not allow me to sleep. Itís a torture one cannot describe in words. Only the person who feels it knows it.†Sometimes I feel that I still have a chance. Some where deep in my heart a voice says that Priya also loves me. Sometimes I feel tempted to propose to her. But at the same time I feel that itís too late now and I have no chance left. I don't know what to do. Itís a fight between the mind and the heart.† One day I got so frustrated and tempted that I called her. When I heard her voice, the other side of me took over and I was unable to speak a single word. I can feel the split personality in me. Itís a fight between me and myself. †"Your productivity has decreased" My PM said one day. "Business folks raised an issue about you saying that you don't respond properly in the meetings. What happened to you?""Nothing Praveen. Just not feeling well now a days" I said."If it continues, I am afraid I need to take necessary action and you may need to fly back to India""I will try to do my best" I said."If you improve, Itís good for all" Praveen said.†Why is this happening to me? I could not concentrate on work. My career is getting ruined. I am spoiling my health. This is all just because of one girl whom I donít know that she even exists two years ago. Is this necessary? Is this called Love? They say that Love is a beautiful thing. But if itís a beautiful thing, why is it torturing me like this? If this is called Love, I don't want love. Why can't I live without her? I can live without her. I was very happy before she came. If she doesnít care for me, why should I? I am not going to call her any more. I am not going to think of her any more. †Even a single mail in the morning with even a single letter in it encourages me to spend the whole day with hope and happiness. Whenever I call her and here her voice, I forget myself. I want to talk to her continuously for hours. I want to be with her. From such a stage, now I am thinking of completely ignoring her and avoiding her. She has no right to change my life. I CAN LIVE ALONE. ††But is it Possible..? Can I live without her? Only time can tell.††††††††††††††††Chapter Fifteen††I did not call Priya. I wanted to prove to myself that I can live without Priya. I am trying to get used to the bitter truth. I am trying to live practically. I am trying to take over my heart with my mind. But however I try, I cannot escape from truth. Priya called me one day.†June 26th, 2005†"Hi Aaryan, What happened to you? Where did you go?" Priya asked."Nothing.." I said."Why did not you call me? You totally disappeared. You don't respond to my mails. You don't come online while I keep waiting for you at the cyber cafe""I was just busy with work" I said. I donít want this phone call to continue for long."Leave it. Are you coming to my marriage?" Priya asked.I always skipped giving answer to this question by saying something or the other whenever she asked this question."How is your marriage plans going?" I asked."First answer my question" She said. "You always try to bypass this question. Are you coming to my marriage or not?""I don't know" I said. "I did not decide yet. It depends on my project work""What do you mean by you did not decide? I can understand that you have project work and all. Itís too much from me to ask you to come to my marriage. But you are not even trying to answer my question. You are not talking to me nicely now a days. It seems that you are not happy with my marriage..""No.." I said."Don't lie to me. I can hear it in your voice""There is nothing like that Priya" I said. "Why do you think I am not happy with your marriage?""I see that you are not same as before. You seem to behave differently from the day I told you about my marriage. What happened?" she asked."Nothing like that. I just got busy with the work and itís taking toll on me" I said"Are you sure?" She said."Yes" I said. I could not able to speak. I can feel the emotion ready to burst into tears."Are you sure that itís the work and not my marriage?" She asked again."Yes" I shouted back. "How many times do I need to tell you? Donít you understand? Now please do me a favor. Never ask this question again and never call me again" I shouted at her and switched off the phone.†What does she think? Why does she torture me like this? Why did she come into my life? I want to forget her. I want to get back my olden days, I want to go back to the days before I met her. I want to want to go back to the days when I used to enjoy the beauty of bench. I want to get rid of the pain of her departure. I want to get rid of the pain that I cannot live without her. Someone please help me...†"I shouted at my Priya" I told Avinash."Why? What happened?""I don't know. I was just trying to avoid her" I said."You need a vacation" Avinash said. "May be you are right. I need a break. I need some time to forget Priya""Let's go for a vacation. How about Florida for July 4th long weekend?""Not a bad option" I said."Let's plan for it" Avinash said.†Though I tried forget about the incident, I could not able to forget it. The thought that I shouted at Priya made me feel very bad. I shouted at my own Priya. Why did I do that?† I tried to call Priya on her mobile. I want to apologize to her. But she did not answer my call. I kept trying whole day but she did not respond to my call. I don't know what happened but deep inside I felt something has gone terribly wrong.†††††††††††††††††††Chapter Sixteen Ė Vinod Speaks††I am Vinod. I was Aaryan's room mate. I know how much Aaryan loved Priya. He always talked about her and cared about her. But unfortunately he could not able to tell her the same. He remained silent. He was a coward. He always feared that Priya would leave him if he expresses his love before her. He waited and the wait costed him a lot. †26th of June was an unfortunate day in the life of Priya and Aaryan. Priya met with an accident while driving back her scooty to home from an internet cafe. The owner of the internet cafe said that she was in a bad mood and was crying before leaving the internet center. She was admitted into the hospital immediately. She wrote a letter to Aaryan.†"Hi Aaryan, When I first met you in the multiplex theatre, I never thought that we would come this far. We have become very close friends in no time. You have been a very good friend of mine. In fact you are my best friend to whom I can look up to whenever I need any thing. You have bothered about me and have taken a very good care of me. You were always there to support me in all matters. I am lucky to have a friend like you and I want to thank you for everything you have given me.†I always thought that even a single day is enough to understand or judge a person. Two years is a very long time. We have been friends for these two years. But even after these two years I could not able to read your mind. I could not able to understand you. You are like a kid ignoring everything in the world. You speak endlessly about your weird dreams. You take things so easily as if you don't have anything to worry in your life. You never take anything seriously. †As we have been good best friends for two long years, I wish to take this relation a little bit further. I always wanted to say this to you. You don't know how many times I have tried to say this to you. But at last I am writing this to you with the only hope that you will understand me and forgive me. I waited for this since long time. Now, let me tell you..."I LOVE YOU"Please don't ask me how much I love you. I cannot explain it in words. I can only say that I love you more than myself. I love you more than anyone can love you. †I waited for you with the hope that you would say this to me. I thought that you are in Love with me as I am with you. I always thought that we are made for each other. But I did not receive any response from you. You did not say anything to me. You looked towards me as a good friend but not more than that. Whenever I thought of expressing my love to you, I feared that you take it negatively. I feared that you'll stop talking to me after that. I feared that you'll abandon our friendship. So, I could not say it to you all these days. I was not at all happy with the marriage. I could not say it to my parents as I don't know what's in your mind.†Now you must be wondering why I wrote this letter and why I am saying this after all these days. Itís because you are not going to talk to me after today. Itís because I cannot say it to you in future if not today. Itís because this is the last letter I am going to write to you. Itís because by the time you read this letter I may not be in this world. Please forgive me for all the pain I have caused to you and thank you for being my friend.†Once again... I LOVE YOU...†Yours,Hari Priya†After the accident Priya survived for a week. During her last days, she called her friend Shwetha and dictated the letter and asked her to hand over it to Aaryan after she dies. When Aaryan received the letter from Shwetha and came to know about the incident, he could not stay back in US. He resigned to his job and flew back to India immediately. But it was too late. He felt that Priya died because of him.†"I told Priya not to call me anymore" he said to me before leaving to India. "I caused pain to her and now she left me forever. It's because of me she met with an accident. Its because of me she died. I am the person responsible for it. I killed her. I killed my Priya"I saw the pain in his eyes. Its hard for him to recover from the shock. Its all over for him. All these days he did not tell Priya that he love her but by the time he came to know that Priya also loves him, she is no more.†I don't know what happened. But Aaryan went missing after this incident. No one knows about his whereabouts. They say that History remembers only tragic love stories. I don't know how true it is but I will never forget the story of my friend. I pray to god to give him strength and peace wherever he is...††The End †Post your comments to vkiran@gmail.com†

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