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      which one do I choose?


Love comes to us at the most peculiar times and it is often when we least expect it and in my case.............this was very unexpected.


I have a dilemma.


I am in love with two men.


I know, I know it seems impossible and hardly believable but I like to think of myself in a Notebook kind of situation. A love triangle if you will. Ask me if I like it and I will say no. Ask me to choose between them and I will say ok but then I wont. The thing is, I can't.


Both are so different and both bring out different sides of me...its so hard to choose, plus I haven't told you the doesn't even live in my state!



The "boyfriend" here with me, I have been dating for 2 years now.

The "boyfriend" out of state, I have been "talking to" for over a year now.


Neither know about the other and this is becoming very hard to keep secret.


Here's the thing, if you were to ask me who I see myself with in 5 years, I would say Christopher, the one who lives out of state in Georgia.

I just don't know if i can take the chance of actually having him move here or me moving there to start a relationship.


With Ed, the one who lives here, I know we would most likely end up together if I allowed it and it would be or what seemed to be a perfect cookie cutter life. Id have security. Id have safety. NO CHANCES!


So it all comes down to what I truly want, security or love.


Do I take a chance or stick with what I know already works?


Long distance  relationships rarely work but I don't know, sometimes I feel as though I need to chance it for I really do love Chris. We didn't meet on the Internet or anything but last summer when he came to visit a friend of mine and we met and spent a week together and BOOM...summer romance.....AND sparks........and yes..........while I still had a boyfriend.



He left and I was devastated but we stayed in touch and still do almost everyday. Im going to see him at the end of the month and I hope that some clarity will come to me when I see him again.


I have to do something soon so this hurt will go away.


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