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      Never-ending Heartache

     


My story is one that I would not want anyone to live through. It started when I was 18 and met who I thought was the man I would be with for the rest of my life. Things were perfect from the beginning and it didn't take long b4 we realized that we couldn't spend another day apart, and so only 7 monthes of going out we got married. After 3 years and 2 kids later things had changed drastically. He was no longer the sweet caring man I had married, but turned out to be a monster....literally. I went through another year with him....a year of phsyical, mental,and emotional abuse at the hands of the man I had given my innnonce to and brought 2 children into the world with. Suddenly, I realized that I had to get out, not only for my own safety, but for my kids as well. I left him and then 6 monthes later started seeing another man. I soon fell in love with him, something I had given up hope of ever feeling again. We were together for 4 years and this past June 16 was suppossed to get married. This man loved my kids and treated them as they were his own. My son was only 9 monthes old when I left his birth-father, and he made no attempts to be a part of their life whatsoever, so Billy was the only man my son ever knew as dad. Saying yes to another marriage was very hard for me to do.... I already had been burned once. But I did and we began planning everything, and two monthes b4 the wedding I caught him cheating on me, and that ended right there. I felt as though I couldn't breathe and it took me a minute to regain my composure. I just couldn't understand why he would do something like that to me and to my kids, when he begged me to marry him and let him adopt them and give them his name. How could he turn around and do something like that, 2 monthes b4 we were to get married. At this point I have given up hope on ever finding Mr. Right. I am only 27 and to have this much heartache is a burden I do not want to carry. Having your heart broke this badly, on top of raising 2 kids that u never thought you would be raising alone is something that I wouldn't wish upon anyone. I look at my kids and think how could someone walk out of their lives and never look back, thats just confusing and wrong. And not only once, by a man who had no right to bring two kids into this world and then walk out on them, but by another who sure didn't have any right to even love them much less hurt them. Heartaches come and go, and in the end ur just left with this emptiness that you crave to fill, and this longing that is stronger than anything u have ever felt b4. You just got to stick your chin out and carry on because life doesn't stop for u to heal it just keeps on goin.....and eventually so do u.

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