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I really don't know where to begin,life sometimes is so hard and you wonder why your here and what your purpose really is.You know how people say everything happens for a reason,i really use to believe that until now. Back in Aug 2006 i met this guy,he seemed great at first,he loved me and adored me but he turned out to be a total jerk,so i told him i couldn't see him anymore,then in Nov i met this other guy,i thought that it was going somewhere but it turned out that he just wanted someone to 'fool' around with,so i told him that if he didn't want a relationship with me it was over,so that ended. I started going on line ,and joined many dating sites,i met a few guys but nothing ever did work out. I was just about ready to give up,until i met this guy in March of 2007,i thought nothing of him at first,just consider him a friend,until he asked if he could meet me,so i said yes,then we stared going out,i feel totally and completely in love with him,and he said he felt the same,we spent so much time together,i never wanted to be apart from him. One day just after i left his house,i came home,got on line and started talking to him,i remember the exact words i said " do you love me tonight?" and he said " i will love you always" but then it all changed,he said that he didn't think he could deal with a relationship right now because there was just so much going on in his family,i thought that he was using it as an excuse,but he said he loved me and he wanted to be with me,he just needed some time to be alone,so i gave him what he wanted,eventho it was tearing me apart.I cried for days,i couldn't eat,sleep,didn't even want to be alive anymore.He said that we would still be friends,but how can you really be friends with someone who you are so inlove with,and everytime you see the person you'll be wondering what would have happened if you too were together now..You can never really explain the feeling you get when you lose someone that close to you,you feel helpless,short of breath like someone punched you in the stomach,an unbelievable amount of sadness and rage because you want to be with them,you feel as if your whole world as just caved in around you,you think that you will never get over what your feeling ,and that you will never be able to move on,but eventually you will,you'll find someone new,maybe someone better,or maybe if your lucky he will realize that he misses you and come back..but you know what the sad part about this story is??? I'm still waiting !!!


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