Tears keep on falling
when i was a college student i had a classmate.. at first when i saw him i felt strange towards him.. but i ignored that feeling.. one day i was early at school and he was early also.. and my classmates and him were talking about something.. when he asked about religion.. i looked at him and at the same time looks at me.. then i felt that we had a connection.. the way he looks at me is so strange.. it feels like he wants to tell me about something.. and my heart beats faster.. but still i ignored the feeling.. in the following days we always saw each other...
and we always looked at each others eyes... but i still kept ignoring him...
i'm afraid that he might think i have a crush on him and that's true.. but i don't
want him to know about that.. because a lot of girls wanted to be his girlfriend
and who i am.. i am just a simple teenager back then.. and in the next semester we were in different section.. but one day he approached me when i saw his eyes it's like the time stop and everything freezes in a seconds.. it always happens every time we talked.. and when we were having a field trip.. we were on the same bus.. and i was struggling to open the window he helped me.. and he always sit in front of me instead of sitting at the back with his friends..
then he sang a song... crazy for you by Madonna.. although he sings it with his friends.. i felt like it was for me because i was near and he was glancing at me.. and he sang another song.. you and me by the lifehouse.. these two songs are always on my mind... i dreamed of him for four consecutive nights.. and i always woke up with tears.. when there was a concert in our school.. he was talking to one of my friends who was also his friend.. he wants to borrow something and that thing was mine.. when he knew about that he said his' allowed to borrow that thing because i am her girlfriend.. it felt so good when he said that.. but i know that it was just a joke.. and it's true that we never had a relationship.. and there's this girl.. his x crush.. he courted that girl but the girl turned him down.. and then when the he stopped courting her.. the girl realized that she also like the him.. but he told her that they have to move on.. and one day.. when we were riding on a bus.. i caught him staring at me... but when the girl arrived.. she was crying.and then.. maybe he felt bad what he said to the girl..and instead he talked to this girl.. and after that they were a couple... but before he talked to the girl.. he talked to me... for a short time... because the girl approached me.. and cried at me.. and told me the reason why she's crying... i felt sad for her but at the same time my heart was kinda happyand at that time i know he was ready to talk to me about us.. but because the girl cried.. after that they had a relationship.. but the guy was still starring at me.. his eyes were sad.. and wanted to talk to me.. but i ignore him.. because i will just burst out tears.. and i don't like it to happen... so i decided to forget him and stay away from him.. but the feeling is growing more stronger.. we always bump into each others way.. but if i saw him.. i just walk away from him.. for me not to fall in love with him more deeper..and one day i just got a news that they broke up! they just had a one month relationship.. i still have the same feelings for him.. but we never see each other after the day when we saw each other in the street.. i was running away from him when i saw him.. i feel so sad..
my problem is.. am still dreaming of him.. and i miss him so much!
there are still tears flowing in my eyes.. until now.. its been weeks that i haven't seen him...