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      Military wife.

     


I'm 20, and in the Navy, I met my husband on the ship, and we immediately hit it off. Soon as he got out, we got married. We were the couple everyone envied, we didn't have much, but it didn't mater because all we needed was each other.

We lived life in every way. I had been through some tough heartaches, and he healed them all. He was all I needed in life, we were truly happy. We were only married for 4 months when I had to deploy. I got extended twice, so instead of 6 I served 9 months total.

Our one year mark already passed by the time I finally came home. He was the only drive I had out there, what brought me thru each day. We emailed daily, and I called every chance I got. When I got home we fought from the first day. He had became this independent man who seemed to forget he had a life he had to share. I was only back for 2 days and we were so angry with each other we almost decided to split, but we came to our senses and realized that it will take some time to get back in our old routine of life. After all a person is subject to change in 9 months. So we decided to work it out.

From that day it was all great, we were getting our groove back, and love wasn't letting us let go of each other anyhow. But I knew something was going on when he turned away from me when he got a text. He used to have me write back for him. So when he went to sleep I got curious. I got the password and I opened his inbox. I saw all these messages from this girl about how shes sorry we're fighting and he's upset, it'll be over soon, "its nothing compared to the rest of our lives together" and things like "I love you too honey" and how she dreamed about him the night before. I went in the bathroom and I completely lost it. I was throwing up and shaking, I had never felt so much pain I can't even begin to describe it. It hurt.... so bad. I made him go back home to live with his brother. He is so sorry, but there are things still I know hes not telling me. I know he doesn't want to, he thinks it will hurt me more if I know it all, but it kills me that he's lying. Tonight is my first night in what was supposed to be our new apartment, and I'm all alone. I could call him and he'd be on the next flight out, but I can't live a marriage with doubts. I can't bring myself to forgive him of something like this.

For 9 long hard months I was faithful to him, 9 months!! And the whole time he was off having his way with another woman,  thinking I would never know the truth. Now I just don't know what to do. I love him so much, and I miss him now more than ever. But I know what he did. And I don't know if I can truly live with that.

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