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      what do you call this? love?

     


it all started in junior high. my first day in the 6th grade.. and there he was in the same class as me.. but i NEVER knew...it was then months later when i noticed him... at first i thought it was nothing... so, i never said anything.. not even a word to my friends... he went with this girl.... which is now, my BEST friend... but they didn't go out for long.. so i didn't mind.. on the last day of 6th grade year.. he told us he was moving.. i was sad but then it wasn't much of a big deal because it was just a little crush... AT LEAST that's what i thought... months past by... we started chatting over the computer.. he asked for my number and that's when i think i fell in love with him.. when we first started talking on the phone... every since 7th grade started we talked on the phone just ABOUT every night... yet, i still thought to myself and said it was nothing... it as in what i was feeling... finally, in 8th grade i told my friends that i LIKED him... months went by then a year... freshmen year... he lived in alameda and i lived in oakland so we went to different schools.. i didn't mind though.. we still talked on the phone and each day that we did... i fell harder for him.. it then came to new years 2007.. we talked over on the phone and counted down over the phone.. aww right? well, the best part is... he finally told me that he liked me.. and i told him too.. although i think he knew already.. in february we had our FIRST kiss... i will never forget that... he made a promise to me.. well, we both made the promise... that "nomatter what happens now and in the future that we'll always be friends" but in march of 2007 thats when everything changed.. he met this girl,, and they went out... i pretended i didn't mind.. but it hurted me SO much... he then said we were best friends.. but i don't think that was much of the truth.. because after that day.. we barely talked... and yet, we still don't it is june 11 2007 and we still don't talk like we USED to... ohh right, him and the "girl" broke up in march or april... i miss him SO much.. and i try many times to tell him.. but i don't know if it ever got to him... i still like him alot.. maybe even LOVE.. i don't know... but now i have to go on each day hoping that everything will get better and see what will happen as i go on....

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