i found the man of my dreams at the age of 16, he was funny, smart, good looking, decent, great sense of humour and we had all the same morals and values, we wanted the same out of life. when we where together everyone around us was jealous. many times people tried breaking us up, but we always overcome the worst. there was only one problem, well what my family thought was a problem... HIS MUSLIM AND I'M ORTHODOX.
my mother didn't really tell me to break up with him, but i new she wasn't to happy with the idea, my grandmother on the other hand, being a traditional religious lady, didn't like the idea at all and told me at every opportunity. in the end i decided it best if we weren't together.
i moved on with my life, i am now 19 in a great job and have been with my boyfriend for the past 7 months, he loves me and has even asked me to marry him, however i still cannot get my ex out of my mind.
i always think about what things would be like if we where still together. i still sometimes call him, i don't say anything i just listen to his voice asking who it is. the other day though i built up the courage to talk back. I'm now wondering whether that was the best decision, because all my feelings have just come back, and when he told me wants me back, and that he loves me i didn't know what to say, i don't know what to do???
i am still with my boyfriend, but speaking to my ex. i know it can't be possible but i am in love with them both.. my ex makes me more happy, but being with my current boyfriend pleases everyone...
being with him kills everyone around me,
being without him kills me.
what is the greater sin?
murder or suicide?