I Still Love Him
In grade 10 I met this boy. After a while I started to like him and he started to like me. One of our friends got us hooked up and we started dating. We were both really shy at the time and all we did was hug and hold hands, and walk with our arms around each other. We went out for about 5 months. During the summer we didn't see each other at all. I only talked to him a couple times on the phone. He wasn't much of a phone talker. He was acting like more of a friend than a boyfriend because he never called me. So my mom decided maybe I should just be friends with him. So that's what I did near the end of the summer. When we got back to school we hugged each other when we first saw each other so I knew we were still friends.
So things went OK in grade 11. I met another guy and he asked me out on a cadet bush trip. I said sure even though I still had feelings for my first boyfriend. So I went out with this other guy for about 8 months or less I'm not exactly sure and then during that summer me and my first boyfriend went to my cottage with 2 of our other friends, one being his sister. Anyways me and my first boyfriend were talking on the beach and he basically screwed around with my mind the whole time except at that time I didn't think he was because I was happy to be there with him alone. It was the best night of my life, just lying there in his arms. I told him I still liked him and he said he still liked me too. He basically said things that made me think he still liked me and that there was still a chance with him.
So I dumped my present boyfriend a few days after that and he ended up thinking I cheated on him (which I didn't) and a couple weeks after the breakup with my current boyfriend I asked my first boyfriend out again. He said he would think about it. I thought that was kind of weird, seeing as on the beach he'd told me he'd liked me. Why didn't he just say yes?
The first month of grade 12 was OK. Me and my first boyfriend were still friends and me and my 2nd boyfriend were OK. Then in October me and my first boyfriend (the one I still loved) had a huge fight on msn and he was super mad at me for no real reason. I was scared that he would never speak to me again. Things cooled off a couple weeks later, we were still kind of iffy though. Then he went on a cadet sail trip (hes in a different cadet corps then me) and came back with a girlfriend. I told him I was happy for him and gave him a hug but inside I was heartbroken. Luckily his girlfriend didn't go to the same school as us because I would've been even more heartbroken seeing them together. Why couldn't he just have said no in the first place when I asked him out again?
So now I'm graduating in a couple weeks and so is he and I'm happy to be leaving my school but I'm afraid that I'll never see him again. We aren't as close as we were in grade 10 or 11 but I miss him and I still love him and I'm regretting not kissing him when I had the chance. I still really want to kiss him but I know I won't get to now and I still love him and always will.
Thanks for reading my story and it's a true story.