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      It'll never end

     


I'm a freshman in high school and he's a junior. I've liked him since I was in middle school. We're did about the exact same thing as each other. During summer we had Marching band, I see him everyday. One day I've passed out during the game..but not the show. He saved my life that night and I've just fallen for him. From then we started hanging out more and I've begun to fall for him. He was different from every boy i have ever liked. He was a firefighter in training,(EMT)Emergency Medical Technician, a student and anything else that he does. He had the best personality ever, even if people were calling him a jerk, but i didn't see that in him.

We are both in soccer..One night after a victorious game that both our teams had won that night playing the same school but at different locations. I called him up and thought up of many ways to tell him my feelings. I told him that I've liked him for so long. All he told me was that he already knew. we've begun to walk together, talk more, and a lot of more things together. even going out to dinner/date. The time i had told him was in January.. months after that it became May, the night of my banquet, i told him "i think I'm in love with you".. the upsetting thing of all..was that he just gave me a long gist of things and reasons why it couldn't be an "us". since that night i have broken down and cried.

My parents don't allow me to date guys until I'm out of college because 1. I'm Asian, and Asian parents are strict. So many of my closest guy friends have told me that they liked me..but I've just equally broken their heart when i told them all that i didn't have feelings for them as they did for me.

Out of all those guys in that high school..I've only liked one person.

He is a snare drummer, I'm a flutist. He is a left marking back , I'm a goalie. he is in cross country. i am in basketball. but out of those things..we see each other a lot . when i told him that i was in love with him, he said that we never get to see each other, and over the summer..everything changes from there. i'll be a sophomore, he'll be a senior. we wont have any classes together and rarely see each other as often as we do now. it has been 1 week since I've told him. I'm still in love with that person. But every now and then. I break down and cry all night. He doesn't want me as a 'distraction' to his career, he doesn't want to hurt me because he is busy. as long as i'm with him. i don't care.

We have distant ourselves away from each other. we don't talk as much.

but it hurts just to look at him.

he is an jerk, player, and hard worker, as well as a stupid liar.

but yet..

No matter what. I still want to spend the rest of my life with the person i fell him love with.

my love for him will never go away. even if he hates me

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