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      He is just a slut

     


I'm 15 and well...i like this guy and have done for like 2 years the first year or so he never new i existed, then we started being in the same classes at school and we got to no each other better, when i first started liking him he had never had a girlfriend or kissed anyone just like me. and the whole time i liked him i watched him go through relationships which i could handle after a while then he got into a relationship with a girl from another school and they went out for 7 months or so, while they were going out he flirted with me but not a strong flirt. they had a strong relationship if you no what i mean, they had done everything. that really hurt me, i had liked this guy for such a long time then someone comes along and gets him like that! i was defiantly doing something wrong. anyways we got put next to each other in most lessons and after a couple of months or so he broke up with his girlfriend. then he started flirting a lot!! he would tell me he wanted to do things with me, but I'm a shy person, he is a very 'sexual' person he is constantly talking about sex, so he says things like have sex with me i no he means it but that's all he wants, we go out with each other in groups sometimes and he flirts with me like mad and i flirt back and he tries to kiss me but i cant because i no what he is like we go up to this bar that has local bands playing and he has about 5 girls in one night, i feel so good about myself when he says he thinks I'm nice but then we go there and he is with all these girls its really upsetting and it makes me think i wonder how many other girls he tells their nice and what he would like to do to them. but after all that i cant help but like him he is just that type of guy, we get on a lot better now and we all go up to this bar every weekend and he asked if i was going this weekend and i said yeah and he said he was too. i was really looking forward to it because he had showed a lot more of an interest in me at school that week so i thought here's my perfect chance ill try and talk to him tonight, i was there before him then when he showed up he went straight up to this girl and they were with each other all night and i had to stand and watch it, and eventually they went down an alley and everyone new what they would be doing. i cant believe i had to experience that and i honestly felt sick but i no the next time i see him he will act perfectly normal probably because he doesn't know i like him, but i cried all that night and no matter how much i hate him for that i no i will end up liking him again but i definitely don't want that to happen. i could handle him getting with other girls but that was just to far, in my eyes that was just him throwing away his dignity, now i self harm not because i want to die but because i want him to see what he has done to me and what his actions have made me do, i don't want your sympathy either i just wanted to share my story.

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