My Dearest Scott
I miss you, baby, more than any words could ever say. My heart aches for you, longs for you. I long for the tender touch of your hand on my face, your eyes so full of love, looking into mine. I miss waking up in the night, as you gently touch my cheek, gazing up at you as you watch me sleep. I miss your kiss, your touch, your laughter, our playful times, the tickle fights. I miss so much your arms around me, I miss your tender love. I miss YOU.
I love you so much, I think you know. What happened to us? Why is this happening to us? The love we share is soul love, making us one. Remember when we made love and we felt like we were as one, truly inside one another? It was so beautiful, magical. Remember our wedding day, the happiest day of our lives. Just 3 short months ago we pledged our love and lives to one another. I have never felt such pain as I do now, such loss, such suffering. I feel like I am dying. I feel like my heart has been shattered into a million tiny pieces and they will never be put back whole again without you. I love you, I will always love you, my husband. My heart, and my love.
Yes even though your hand could be so tender, they were cruel when they betrayed me, hurt me, abused me. I know you love me, we shared that love together, our hearts and souls know, and God knows. Now we have to be apart to let you help yourself, to grow, learn and change because I believe you when you say you never want to hurt me, and I know you never would have had you not been drinking. Alcohol changes you, it is not the cause, but it brings something out of you that lies dormant when you are sober. I hope that with Gods help your counselors can help you. Until then my love, never forget I love you, and I have faith in you. Do not give up. Keep trying, and one day maybe we can be as one again. I love you.