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      Is goodbye forever?


Today I finally managed to make myself the monster he thought I was. I was ugly. No, not physically, but emotionally, and that is by far the worse. That is what hurts, and tears our souls to shreds. Maybe he has already put me enough out of his thoughts that I didn't really hurt him. I just confirmed to him that he has made the right decision. He can now feel relief that I won't bother him anymore.

He is not the one that needs to forgive, I am. I need to forgive myself for making mistakes, accept the consequences, and move forward.

God will allow me someday to get over this. Goodbye is forever, when it is said with hurting, biting tongues and words that cut like a knife.

What have I done?

I love you now & forever Gary, and believe it or not, I do want you to be happy, and really in love so you may share your goodness with someone........


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