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      good bye forever.


I can't believe it's over. We've been through so much together and hadmany firsts. I love who you were and I always will. We'll be friendstil the end and hopefully we'll be at peace with each other in thefuture. I wish you the best in everything. Good bye, I'll miss youforever.

I want to stop crying. To stop hurting. Wanting to die. Feeling tornapart. Feeling extremely lonely. Why do I still love you? Why do I dothis to myself? Why did you promise me you wouldn't hurt me? Why didyou leave me here? Do you still love me? Do you even care? Why can'tthis work? Why does it hurt so bad?

It's not over for me ...

I hate how we loved each other so much and now we're barely talking. Youpromised me friendship and love forever. I can't believe it's over. I hope you're happy in life and Iwish in the future you find someone who will love you more than you'dollever know.someone who will treat you right, even better than i did. I'm sorry for the games I played on your heart and I'm sorry i wasn'tpatient enough. you'll always have me. I'll miss you forever and I'mextremely sorry it turned out this way. good luck in life Chris. Andgoodbye.

Do you know how much I feel for you? I hurt myself andstarved for a week because I couldn't bear to feel normal again. You are the biggest part of my life and I don't know how I can go onwith my life knowing we don't talk. We were so madly in love and so strong. I gaveyou everything i had to offer. I really can't believe it's over. We'vebeen through so much. You were my first boyfriend who actuallywouldn't put up with my bullshit. I'm proud of you, but I can'tbelieve you whipped me instead. In the relationship I would never doanything; I'd always make the guy do all the work. He'd be the first toIM me, text me, call me or come up to me. with you and me, the roleswere switched. I always texted you first, IMed you, called you first,and came up to you first. I'm sorry I acted like a bitchy brat and I'mso sorry if you ever felt that I didn't appreciate you because i did. So much. I still do. You tried not to fight anymore while I stood therewatching you fail and starting fights. I realize nothing was anybody'sfault, but we both could've handled situations differently. We've hadso many arguments and we've cried more tears of disaster than joy. Theonly time we didn't really fight was when we were hooking up. I'm sorryour love was lust-based. I'm sorry I lied to you and I'm sorry I brokeup with you the way i did. I really wish things between us werebetter. I wish we could be friends and hang out the way we used to. Iknow we're two different people now, but can't we at least try to makepeace? I'll always love you and care for you and cherish all themoments we had together. I can't wait until we're together again, asgood friends, reminiscing about all of this. I'm trying so hard toget there and to be really good friends. please when you figure out whoyou are and who you want to be, you'll know where to find me. i missyou so much babe.

[cont.] I knowit's hard to face me after what happened but don't you still want me inyour life? Do you even care? Do you still love me? Don't you miss me? Miss holding me? Miss kissing me? Miss talking to me? Miss holding myhand while walking in the hallway to fourth period? Don't you miss mysmile, my face, the scent of my perfume? The way I tilt my body backwhen I laugh? The way I caress you hair while I'm in your arms staringinto your eyes? What about the late-night phone calls? Making sillyjokes that only we know about? "Happy holidays," babe? Don't you miss meas much as I miss you? Didn't you love me as much as I loved you? Willit ever be like that again? Or will you keep pushing me away? I needyou in my life, babe I love you so much.

I knew from thebeginning that you would end up hurting me. I knew I would be here,writing my heartbreak away. I could already feel the hot tears smotheringmy face, thinking about when you told me you would never hurt me. Iknew you would. I KNEW IT. But the thing I don't know is why I letit happen. i know I'm going to fall in love again eventually, and Iknow I'll cry even harder the next time, but getting over you isdefinitely the hardest thing I've ever been through.

so yeah, i guess.....happy four months.


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