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I feel true heartache

I fell in love with someone years ago...someone I don't even know. We met online. I was slacking in my office, and up pops a message on icq. "Hello" she says. Such a simple word, yet, I was intrigued. Most people start off with something like..."hey, 18/f/IL, you?". She chose to be different. I like different, and it sparked years of conversation...conversation that blossomed into something more. When we first started talking, she was living in Illinois, and I was living in California. I was dating someone at the time, but the relationship was becoming stale, and her and I grew into nothing more than friends. Whit was single at the time, and if I remember right, had only dated one person. We talked occasionally, with me staying late at work nights just to try and catch her online. I didn't even realize I was doing it at first. Now that I look back, she was the reason I stayed. The occasional talk started becoming more and more frequent, until I asked for her phone number. She wouldn't give it up. I continued to beg, she continued to say no (which I've found...eventually turns to j/k). So I kept chatting. I guess I was afraid this would develop into something more, so I stopped chatting. I met Anna right about the same time (online) and ended up dating her. Big mistake as I'd find out later in life, but hey, stupid whores can't help themselves, so I forgive her. As problems between Anna and I developed, Whit came back into my life. She found me again. And I was happy again. We started talking more and more. Anna left me for someone who could have been my twin, and Whit was there for me. This time, I convinced her to give me her phone number. And we started talking. I was living in Oregon, and she was living in New Hampshire. Things between us were going great. Then I became the asshole again. We lost touch, my fault again. I moved to Ohio, she moved to Ohio. She found me again. This time, she said it'd be the last time. I was happy again, we were talking. Things were progressing again, I had her phone number again and we kept talking. She had a boyfriend, who she broke up with, because he was pushing things too hard. We were both single. As we were talking, I started realizing everything I'd never paid attention to. She always made me happy. She always gave me a second chance. Or third chance, or even 4th chance. She never asked anything of me other then conversation, the occasionall *hug*, the always popular =], and a shoulder to cry on. I started realizing...that I was in love. Always had been, but tried hard to ignore. How could I love someone I never met? Well, I did. I told her this, and she told me she was with someone else...and she was moving to Indiana. I was broken...but I've continued to talk to her. Yes, I've since met someone, and yes, I do love my wife. But my soulmate, my special someone...will always be you, Whit.


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