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      Missed Oppertunities...


Ok. To start off with, yes, on-line relationships have a tendency never to work out. I know this, you know this, the whole world does. But I really wish that wasn't true. Please excuse the rambling nature of this, I've never been good at writing. Here goes my story:

Late 98 or early 99, I was working...well more like my office late one night. I happened to have ICQ open. "Hello" was the message I received. Even to this day, I can remember the first word she said to me. Just an off the wall Hello. So simple, and just the beginnings of millions of words exchanged.

Whit and I are right about the same age. I'm a few months older, but that's about it. Which is weird, because everyone else I've ever dated has been a lot younger than me. My wife, in fact, is 4 years younger than me. I don't think there's ever really been a time that we were talking that I couldn't think of anything to say, and I know that I've always wanted to say so much more. Most of the time, if I'm silent, it's because I can't find the words to say what I want, not that I don't have anything to say.

From the very first Hello, I knew she was something special. She seemed shy, but at the same time, she was willing to open up to me. We talked for hours on end, stopping only when one of us had to leave. There were a few times, mostly my fault, where we went a long period of time without talking...but we always seemed to return to each other....

While I was living in Oregon, I had the opportunity to see her. I didn't go. When I moved to Ohio, I only had to drive a couple hours to see her. I didn't go. If I had, maybe things would be different. Maybe I'd be in Indiana right now, instead of Ohio. I told her I loved her once, and it was the truth. I needed to put this all down somewhere, or else I'd scream...go crazy...something...

I'm now married...been married since '03. Whit's been with her boyfriend for a few years...and both of us have kinda moved on. I can't ever completely forget how I feel/felt about her. (sigh) enough for now. Maybe I'll add/edit later.


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