The song Tiny Heart by Flyleaf goes all too well with the situation i am.
stuck inside yourself
why won't you open up for me"
i met this guy last year and he and i became really great friends
he's got that personality that's insane and always makes me laugh. that's why i like him so much.
last year i wasn't happy..depressed even..but he was always there at my darkest hours and actually cheered me up- probably without meaning to.
anyways i am weak-hearted and fall for someone very easily. so there isn't any wonder to why i'd fall for him
he was extremely nice, not bad looking, and funny. all these great qualities
he friends with the whole grade practically, everyone loves him.
made me jealous haha.
by that christmas i gave him a card with a poem. im a poet and i wrote a card expressing my feelings. now looking back on it it makes me feel weird cause i opened up to him so much yet he closed off to me.
so he denied me and i ran away into my little corner and it was never brought up again. thankfully we were still friends and became even greater. but i never got over him.
i'd force myself to like other people. but after they refused me i always relasped back to him. a very conspicuous pattern.
its a year and a half later
im basically still in love with him
we talk a lot on the computer, never a dull moment in our conversation
even five hours at a time
he's come to expect my company into the "wee" [haha] hours of the morning [that is on not school days..]
so we're closer then ever i feel. and it seems like he keeps leading me on
but i know better not to be as foolish as before and fall for his words
cause i think they're empty
but i can never be sure what he's truly thinking
even though he's really open with his personality, i know a part of him is closed
he even said he doesn't like change and i think that's why he refuses me
but hey what do i know. im only fifteen
but this feels like love to me
i really cant tell if he feels likewise..hes a difficult person to understand
and no amount of words can explain an entity
and this story doesn't do justice
and he keeps luring me in closer
and i keep falling for it
whether its intentional or not
and he keeps fooling me with his devious trickery
a part of me cant stand it. but most of me loves him