The Invisible Love
I don't know when actually all of this things began. When I met him for the first time, I don't realize at all that I will keep this feeling to another guy.
All of this things happened when I went to continue my study overseas. I left my husband and my son at my hometown, since we do not have enough money to spend the life together to live in another country. My husband is a great husband, who is full of love and care of me and the whole family. He is a doctor, has a good career in the private hospital, at the emergency room department.
In the first term of my study, I got good marks, good friends, good environment of living, but I miss home so much. Perhaps, it's because I have never left home for a long period before. I have left my cute 2- years- old child with his daddy. Nothing happened, everything is just like usual.
I still remember the first day that I met this guy, who is my senior, about 5 years older than me, almost the same age with my husband. Nothing interesting about him, he is tall, looks average ( I cannot say that he is good looking, because he doesn't care of how he performs ), he has good career, he is brilliant, and he has married with a son. When the first time I saw him, my impression is that he is arrogant, doesn't talk much, and serious person. I am not interesting at all with him. He is an artist. I always avoid to meet him in the first term of my study, because I always feel that this guy "will grill" me during tutorial. I don't like to talk to him. He is not harsh at all, but his comments always make me ashamed on my own work.
I still remember the day, when I heard that bad news. I felt not so healthy that day, which make a reason for me to avoid his class. I call my classmate that I cannot see him that day,because I felt terrible headache. But like a storm in the sunny day, I heard the unpredictable news about him. That he got a terrible car accident and he was in coma on that day. I felt a strange feeling. Sad, but I was happy then I was starring and looking at the sky. I even hope not to seeing him again in class. I was so rude at that time.
Everything changed when I saw him at the hospital that day. Any kind of feelings mixes up in my heart. And I don't know what to say. Things that change my mind would probably the people in the hospital that day. All of his family member, the mother, his aunt, his cousins seem hopeless, and talk to me like I am a counselor,even I was just a stranger at that time. I cannot say much, but I feel that there were also burden in my heart. I cannot cry. But I felt like I would lose someone. On the way back home I cried... alone , without any reasons. I cried in the subway, and I felt that I didn't want to go home at that time. I think that it is the time when I start to think about him. Since that time, he has always been in my prayers.
Time goes by.... after two months he got speedy recovery, he called me that he wanted to get back to teach at the university. We start the first session of his return in a light private discussion. After the session, I felt something has changed from him. He offered me a job, as his assistant to handle one of his project. In the next tutorial, he gives so much attention to me ; to my working progress, to the way I look, and when I cut my hair. He never gave attention to me before, since he was "Mr. I don't care." He shares everything with me, including his private life and his recovery treatment. I know that it is like a miracle for me that he came back alive. But I don't know what has made that sudden changes. And since that time our relationship has been turned. And sometime the way we think was similar. My "Mr. I don't care" is now become Mr. Perfect to me.
Since we know that each of us have our own family, we cannot go across the borders. I also don't know how to express this feelings, because I think both of us don't need it. I know that eyes can talk. The way I admire him is the same way that he admires me. I can see him as the person that I respect very much, I adore very much, and I love very much. I know that sometime he tries to express that to me,too. As an artist, I know that sometimes he used my idea in his project, as an expression of gratitude or admiration. Even I motivated myself in order to complete my project for him, just for him...
Here, I share my true story. The story of mine that would never being told. I am not hope that we will be to gather someday. I just hope all the best for him, as the expression of my love to him. If we still have a chance in another live.. perhaps I hope a guy like him will be mine.