My name is doll, that's what he use to call me my forbidden love.
We knew each other from school and one day in the rain my life changed for the worst. It was a lonely Monday and I stood at the bus stop. The rain was just beginning to fall when he pulled up. He offered me a ride, I said yes. I should of said no, but it was cold and I was tried. Little did I know I was prey and that he had be scoping me out.
We lived in the same part of town and we began to ride back and forth to school together, after all we had two classes together history and jazz. He is 16 years older than I am. I wonder how he knew I was so in need of a friend of love, maybe it was the Look in my eyes. So he broke down my walls and eased into my heart, my mind.
I didn't care about anything, my life, my dreams. Just him, being in his arms and making love to him. But he has a life, another life with kids and a wife who he claims to hate, but he's still with her and they have a child on the way.
I still love him but I keep trying to make him choose and he always chooses his kids. I think he just wants his cake and to eat it too. He wants two worlds. He has two worlds and I have one and it's just me. He has her and his kids. I am so alone and I hate him for stealing my heart.
I hate him so much that I love him even more, maybe in so sick way I hold on because I think I can win. And I hate her for being dumb enough not to notice that her husband is kicking it with a 19 year old and not thinking anything of it. Her husband is rocking my cradle and killing my sprit. He has me so caught up I don't know which way is up. I hate her and him. And I still wait daily for his phone calls and now he wants just to be my friend. But how can we be friends when we were always lovers.
I think he planed it all along, he used me. And it all started one lonely Monday in the rain.