I married the wrong man
Peter was my first love. We played together as kids. We were each others first and were together all in highschool. When I got pregnant and lost the baby very early into the pregnancy in highschool my parents made us end it. A few months later we graduated and all summer I watched Pete with Jill his new girlfriend. I was broken.
I left for college and met Ben. I realized a girl can move on and have more than one love. Peter would call me sometimes and we would talk. I missed him.....but after awhile the calls stopped coming. I fell deeply in love with Ben. After college I married my Ben. Our love was amazing. But, then after a year of marriage it fizzled.
Peter was going to marry Heidi, and said he could not do it. He kept thinking of me. He came to town, and I hadf an affair with him for three weeks. He wanted to leave Heidi for me. I was going to leave Ben. But, then Peter left town, and a few months later married Heidi and moved back to our town. I was devastated. I stayed married to Ben.
A year later I had a daughter with Ben....Camry Rene. I ran into Peter and he told me he missed me and that he wanted to be with me. I ignored his calls ...they lasted two weeks. My marriage was not happy...but I knew Peter was just looking for sex. He would never leave Heidi. I found out Heidi was pregnant, and a few months later they had a girl, Allison.
Ben and I were not happy. He was a good dad, but he was never around, or always watching tv. He was very jealous, but never paid attention to me. We fought about money, and it was never violent but it was awful! We brought out the worst in each other.
But.....we stayed married. Two years after Camry we had our son Justin Lance. Another year later we had our son Mason Ranger. Two babies in two years brought trouble for our marriage and soon I was thinking of leaving. When Mason was two I was ready. I was scared. I had a I had kids ages 2,3, and 5. But, I left one day. I was over Ben before I pulled out of the drive.
Six months later I began dating Aleck. Peter and he were friends, and so I saw Peter often. He had his daughter Allison who was four, and a son Laran who was one. Ben did not fight me for custody and our marriage went quietly into the night. We were divorced! Peter drove me home from Alecks one night after a lot of beers and told me how unhappy his marriage was and how brave I had been. He wanted to leave, but could not leave his kids. He was scared...he cried to me. We became friends and confidances.
My relationship with Aleck progressed as did my friendship with Peter. Sonn I was in love, but I woke up in horror one day to realize it was not Aleck I loved but Peter. Not again! I could not do this. But soon after Peter told me he wanted to leave Heidi for me.
He did .....and soon we were living together.
Heidi was younger and was willing to give up physical custody because she wanted to party and meet someone new. She was involved with her kids thought which is more than I can say for Ben! But that left Pete and I raising 5 kids...but it was still great.
Peter and I were very happy. This is what life is supposed to be. We eloped in Vegas....our 5 kids with us. We were truly happy! We had twin boys 10 months later- Erick Dane, and Elijah Duke! 11 months later we had a duaghter Carli Eliza. When Carli was 5 Peter and I were still so happy. It was great! It unraveled fast. I got pregnant and had Melani Rose 2 months before Carli turned six. Peter was not happy and had not wanted another baby! That made 9 for us!!! Whoa!@ ON Carli's bday he packed his things and left and told me he had someone else. A pregnant 20 year old Natasha who had just given birth to their son Gordon. He wanted to be with her. Not me. He left me....cold!
Melani is now 4. I am alone, and Peter does not even see me and the kids now. He lives up North. I am so hurt. I am still in ,ove, and not even close to over him. He has not tried to call me. And he now has another son with that girl....Jason. I am so betrayed. I truly don't know why he would do this. But, I anm alone now forever. I can never move on from him. Atleast I do not have to watch him with her...but I see it in my head and I am crushed! My kids have nno dad now! I loved him...truly...deep. I wanted to be old with him....but now I will be alone. I am not going to look for love again. And no I am not just saying that now because I am hurrt but because I have been through too much!