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      choosing never seemed so hard

     


I was dating my ex boyfriend for a very long time.   We were high school sweet hearts and in college as well. We broke up recently, for no good reason except we were starting to drift apart a little but that was my own fault.  I started to "think" about things and i got scared being that i was only turning 21.  Now, 4 months later, still broken up, I've begun to realize i may have made a bad decision.  I met another guy..... right when we broke up, and i have been hanging out with him since. Problem is... he has a girlfriend.  He acts like he wants to be with me and he is not happy with his girlfriend, but then the question arises.... why doesn't he just leave her then?  He feels he has obligations to her because she moved here from another country to be with him.. and don't get me wrong, of course he does.  But i don't know why i continue to let myself be strung along.  I guess i feel like maybe there is a slight chance that he will be with me.  And here i am... having my ex boyfriend treat me like a princess and i can't be happy with it.  He was the love of my life since we were so young, why can't  i just be happy with him? I thought there was better things out there, but i am beginning to think that i let something go that was perfect.  I am so torn, because this other guy tells me all the time that he does like me and he is just confused and doesn't know what to do.  Why can't i just get the nerve to up and leave and find something better?  I mean, I'm not a saint, i did not treat my ex boyfriend like i should have, but i did love him with all my heart, and i think i still do, but i hope its not for all the wrong reasons.  I need some advice. And i need some courage to walk away from something that i really want to be right... when.... in reality...it just isn't.

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