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      Life must go on (without you)


I Met the love of my life I thought on the Internet that wanted to give me all the Happiness he could afford. We met in a chat program and I made the first move and from there it totally blossomed into something very romantic.

We would steal away into the night on weekends and make love and plan trips not expensive just trips like a concert or to go visit friends from out chat rooms. To be honest and he knew this I was living with another man I had been with 13 years before him that I never Married because my man was abusive and a drunk and a total druggie loser. So I was actually sneaking off to be with my new love and I never felt abit of guilt and never will. My new Love and I did have some downs and it was mainly because he wanted to be with me but his children lived thousands of miles from him and he yearned to be near them again so it added pressure to our relationship.
After I finally realized why he would seem sad at times I decided to give him no reason to stay near me so I broke it off and sent him on his way with my heart in his hands without him knowing just how he effected me.
He never tried to contact me for a year and I got on with my life and met another on line that Told me so many romantic tales which gave me hope maybe this was the one I was meant for.
He came to see me and he lived in another state and the meeting was sensational but not as sensational as the love I had no choice but to toss away for his sake and his children's to be together.
At the time I wasn't thinking very clearly and I wanted out of a bad situation that I had with the man I was living with so I told him to get out and my newest  man came to get me moving me far away from my home and leaving my parents behind to live in my home. I moved them from their tiny place before I left giving them a better place to live in and my sister lived behind my house and my man even bought my dad a car so he could get around. I thought it would be the right thing to do.
A year after I moved and I was on the chat program the man I tossed away made contact with me. But like me he had a new love also.
We both still speak of what we had to this day and remain with our other partners.
The guy I ended up with well he is not romantic as he told me but he is a good man. We don't have any same interest and he likes to nag me to death but I have grown to love him still. I guess its time to tell the one I Tossed aside that I am getting Married and I think its time I started devoting my Time to my Fiancee because we missed our chance already.
I am sure if he reads this he will realize this story is for him.
You know who you are but as far as these fantasies  about meeting one last time or running away together will never happen.
I still Love you but Baby its time to end what we could of should of had and just be friends and nothing more.


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