Never, trust, Never Hopes
I was known to them as very choosy in terms of boys because it seem to them that I never have experienced having a boyfriend eversince, inspite of my many suitors. But unknown to everyboydy as well as to my parents I have onced loved but it failed and I was so hurt at that time that leads me to tell myself never to love again. The boy was the dean's lister in the campus, he is very brilliant and he came from a good family aside from that he has the good looks and as our schoolmates see us to be together they would say that we really make a good pair. I have loved the man very much, but at that time I was also afraid of telling it to my parents because I am still studying and I have promised them not to join any relationship coz i need to focused with my studies. Definitely, and I can really sure that the guy also loves me inspite of the pressures we have.But things have changed when he graduate, I know I have some faults, for I went to a date with somebody not even asking permission to him. The one I date was just my schoolmate and just want to have some dinner date with me for a project succesfully done. I know it was really my fault... knowing that my classmate had a crush tome and it is very known to the campus, when he knew it he was mad at me, but I guess it was not enough for him to ignore me, he did not give me a time to explain. He never answers my calls and never reply to my messages sent to him. It was so sad, I cry and cry and tell myself never to love again.
I found another love that hurts me more.
He is my neighbor, he courted me despite of his insecurities, and despite of criticism from others. Everybody tell him to stop because it could be very impossible for us to be together knowing that I am known in the town to be intelligent, somehow with beauty and there are lots of guys in the town and in my workplace who courts me. At my side, everytime he approached me and talk about it I would always say "Sorry you are not my type." I know that it hurts him badly but it's the only way to stop him from bothering me. He is so persistent, until one day I just realized that I pity for him so I give him a chance to court me, so he wents to our house a very traditional way of courting in our place, he wents there and after a few months I have then realized that I feel in love with him. But I never tell him that i have learn to love him instead I just told him that I was just giving him a chance and just want to love again. I told him about my past and then, he understands... AT first everything went so soft, we date, and I am so happy everytime I am with him. I ignore what others say about me, they criticize me of choosing the right guy but for me I want to fight for him and I want to tell eveyrbody who really he is. He makes me happy and I love him. That matters me most.
Until one Day my mother told me that he had already a baby and he has another relationship with another woman who happens to be the bestfriend of my cousin. So I want to confront him but in my mind I don't want to believe. I was so sad.. I try to call him but he don't answer my calls, everything was again ended hanging until I heard that he tell everybody in the neighborhood that we break . I was so shocked and hurt. I feel that everything was so wrong.I again try to call him but he don't answers my calls. My heart really torn into two. Nothings compare to the hurt I feel right now. And by this time I can really say that I don't want to love again. Perhaps I am not intended to love somebody and to be loved by somebody. I am so hurt.... so hurt... that everytime I want to cry even I work I can't concentrate. The feelings is so different.... I love him but I don't know how he feels for me.
To anyone out there, never trust, never hopes, for you just end up crying....
I dont' want to love again...
To anyone who can relate my story please feel free to email me at firstname.lastname@example.org..