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      Never to old to be hurt

     


A loveless marriage of 20 years. I had resided to a life of emptiness inside of me but knew that I could not live with him any more. At the back of my mind I had hoped that I would meet someone who would make me feel like a woman again. Little did I expect it so soon.

The feelings that I had once thought I had lost, came flooding back, somehow they felt strange, yet strong.

We shared your stories of lovelessness in your partners and how that this felt so right, partly due to your age and that we had both only had 1 partner in your life and were married to them.He had confessed that he had his eye on me for one and half years before telling me. I told him that I was going to walk out of my marriage soon but not because of him, but I knew deep down that he wouldn't walk out of his and this is something that I would not ask him to do, it had to be his decision.

3 weeks into our relationship we made it official. It was fantastic but also wrong. He began to feel guilty and wanted to end the relationship. I had by this time walked out of my marriage, so we ended it 'but we couldnt end the feelings,and so picked up from where we left off,but sex was something we agreed we will not do again and so we kept to our word. Once again he felt guilty and most of all scared and so he ended it again. That still didn't stop him from following me around. He knew the time I started work, the people that I spoke to, he basically knew a lot of my routines.

I became ill due to the hot and cold feelings that he gave off but I still took him back all the time and tried to understand his postion in work and as a family man. He became hasty saying horrible things that upset me. I had put it down to his insecurity with our relationship. 

I feel a lot of anger and passion, fustration and confusion. Our relationship has ended but my feelings have not.

Why why why did he approach me. Why why why did he play with my feelings? The truth is, I allowed him to because I should have walked away the first time.

Why why why do I still feel for him. Never to old to get hurt

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