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      a love that's not meant to be


Everything's okay with my life until I went to Cebu for a weekend vacation. I met this guy, Irian. At first, I didn't noticed that how wonderful he was until we spent an afternoon together. He's an ex-seminarian and a nice guy. There were things about him that really impressed me but whatever it was, I can't explain. It's just that, I found him so impressing. And after that time I spent with him, I said to myself, "His gonna be mine, no matter what it takes." I took his number and I never had any doubts to text him right away when we separated. He texted back and and everything started there. From the constant texting we had, he started opening up his feelings to me. He told me how bitter he was from his past relationship, that his ex-girlfriend dumped him for another guy and for 8 months that they were together, he was just fooled by the girl. I can feel how hurt he was. Everytime, when out of the blue, he'd text me and tell me that he was bursting with hatred. During that time, i'm always there for him. Although, it hurt me a lot, I tried so much to hide my true feelings and be a friend to him. I've fallen for him so deeply which I thought at first was just an infatuation. But I was wrong, no matter how cautious I was, I didn't help to fall for him. Although at first, he cleared to me that he was not yet ready for another commitment. I told myself, it's okay, i'm just being friend to him. I won't fall for him. But i was wrong. I got caught up with my words. And also, there's a part in me that's hoping him to love me. We've been texting and calling everyday, very constant that I hoped he'll love me back. Everything's okay between us, he told me that i should go back to Cebu and spend a time there with him because he have something to tell me. I'm hoping that he'll tell me he got feelings for me too. I was really hoping. Then a time came when he became cold. I can't feel the excitement in his text anymore. I wondered what happened. I called him and he just told me that he'll text me. After an hour, he texted me and told me that he and ex-girlfriend have talked and agreed to work things again between them. My god! That really hurt me. I thought, his hatred, his bitterness, his pain and ME would be enough reasons for him not to give their relationhip another chance. But i was wrong. I stopped texting him. Although i'm missing him so much, I never dare text him. After some sleepless nights crying, I've learned to accept the situation, that in his life, I was never been a part of it. It really hurt me so much. He's still texting me and telling me his not that happy, his confused, his missing someone else. I just can't get it. I know he loved his girlfriend so much that is why he accepted her again inspite of the things she did. And that's the thing I learn from this thing. I learn to let go of him because I want him to be happy. I can say that I really love him because i've accepted all the pain and let him go for his happiness. We have talked about it and agreed to be friends. Even if it hurts, even if i'm missing him, I agreed to be his bestfriend.


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