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      long lost


me n this guy started out a friends, but it sooned turned into him falling for me in a big way, i wasnt to keen on it at first as past relationships had been hurtful and i didnt want to go threw the same thing again, we talk and talked and i started to have a few feelings. but then a job came along, i no from my own job that you dont let things hang around, you should make the most of your life while you can and take your chances. his job was to go and work somewhere on the otherside of the world, i didnt really think much of it but i told him to take it, i perswaded him that it would be one of the best things in his life, and really a great oppotunity, not thinkin about what was really goin on, i was fallin deep and deeper in love with him but i was blind to it. he finally took the job and within a month he was there and still is there. he new how i felt and he said he felt the same, he asked me to marry him before he left and said he would come home after his 3 month trial period, but . . as fate has it, the place was a much nicer place than "home". i dont have the money to go out and see him and my heart feels like its in peices, i have never felt so much pain in my life, he says he loves me, but how can you love someone still who is back in a place that is a busy dirty place which is just stress,who is living in that life of stress when he is in a total paridise where people are totaly chilled and go out of there way to help you, and stress seems like it is a totaly differnt planet away. i think the distance is messing me up big style. he told me he would come back by chirstmas, but. . i dont think its going to happen i think he will relises the place he is at is better than what he had.


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