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Advice needed

05 March, 2001

This is not so much a story but a letter to which I would like the advice from the readers. I come on here almost everyday and read the stories and the messages and advice people give to the story writers. You all show such compassion and interest in peoples lives that you don't even know. So I thought what the heck I'll see if any of you out there have any advice for me.

I'm 31, been married for 8 years to a guy who is awesome. The pick of the litter. I cannot say that I have any complaints about him. There isn't anything he would not do for me. So what's the problem you ask? Well I've strayed towards another man. He is 12 years older than me. Now lives in another state and I miss him.

I think about him all the time. I miss our times together, I miss our closeness. He and I could talk for hours and hours and never run out of things to say. He wants me to move down there with him. But I cannot seem to leave the man I am with now. I don't want him hurt.

I have told my husband of the feelings I have for this other man. And he tells me I will never leave him because our relationship is so great. Well I'm 50-50 over that.

I want to be with this other guy but I also want to be with my husband. I know I cant have both.

I've asked many people, "how can you tell if you're truly in love with someone and not just infatuated with them?" Their answer is, "well who do you desire to be with more?". Well when I'm with my husband I want to be with the other and when I'm with the other I want to be with my husband. Is this nuts or what? Maybe I am. You see these two men act so much alike. Yet one is on the wilder side which I think is a big attraction to me. And the other is so calm and stable. Which I like.

Does anyone else have this same problem now? Or have you been there and have a solution for me. Am I alone in this?

There is much more to the story but I don't figure they would print something as long as a novel. Any advice I would love to hear. Please don't send me your criticisms, I hear enough of those.

Thank you

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