I am young.
I am beautiful.
I am married.
I am a mother.
I met my husband when I was 19 years old, he was 25. I didn't think he would ever like me, I didn't seem to be his type. We met through a good friend of mine. I thought she would be more of his type. But one night my friend and I were talking on the phone and decided to three-way him. We all talked for a few hours then she hung up. After she hung up, he told me that he thought I was beautiful and he really liked me.
So we started to date. We dated for a month then I gave him my virginity, 2 months after that he proposed to marry me the next year, 2 weeks later I moved in with him.
We had our ups and downs like most relationships. He was a chronic pot smoker, I had never even seen the stuff until he started to smoke it around me. That's when things got real down. We would fight over silly things. I started to think we weren't really meant to be like we thought. But I stayed with him, I didn't want to leave him and have to live with my parents again. So we kept our relationship going until a year after our proposal. He broke up with me and kicked me out. I found out that he had been doing more drugs then just smoking pot. He wanted me to not be with him while he was going through that. I ended up going back to him exactly one week after I had moved everything out. I ended spending the night every other night, and every weekend that I had off I would go and find him. He would go to his hometown 200 miles away from where we was living. He stayed on drugs for 4 months, I ended up moving back in with him after a month of staying the night and following him around. He became insane from all the drugs he was doing and started to see people in odd places and started to think I was cheating on him. Finally we moved out of town where he sobered up, then moved to his home town where we were getting our lives back together. He started to do drugs again. He got arrested for assault, and had a warrant for another assault. I bailed him out, he skipped bail, we left that state and moved across the border. We got our lives all together, I got pregnant, and we got married after 2 1/2 years together.
Our life together was good. We really thought we were made to be together. That we were really a match made in heaven. Our baby was born and life couldn't be better. Four months after our son was born we were both unemployed barely making ends meet. He started doing drugs again. He was high for all of the holidays. I left him because I got tired of worrying about him, but after I left I worried more about him so I went back. He had been cheating on me while I was gone, I was gone for only 5 days. He had gotten very violent towards me. Accusing me of cheating on him. I never cheated on him, I never even looked at another guy. He even told me that I wasn't a virgin. One day as I was trying to leave him, he slapped me, which gave me a black eye. The next morning he came home after being gone all night and made me get undressed so he could check for "evidence". He thought he saw hickies and bite marks. He even claimed that the guy was sucking in my breast. (I breast feed our son.) He choked me and told me to tell the truth. I was, I would never cheat on him, there is no reason.
We finally left that alone for a few days. Then Christmas eve came. We fought all night about me cheating on him. He had suspicions on our neighbour, so I told him that I did cheat on him. Just so I felt like I deserved my black eye and other abuse he was putting me through. Christmas he locked our son, me and him in the bedroom while he looked through old pictures that he said he never took. He also told me he was going to kill me if anyone came into the house. He was so paranoid that he was hearing and seeing people in our house. I was so afraid that someone was going to come over to wish us a Merry Christmas and he was going to kill me because of it. So I prayed. I prayed hard. God answered my prayer by having him break his knife in a toy he was trying to break. He held me "hostage" all day, finally I got out of the house to call my parents to come and get me. It took them 3 hours to get to me, by then he had threatened me, by telling me if they took me and the baby he was going to kill them. So when they showed up he talked me into going with him. As we were driving around losing my family he slapped me so hard, that I had gotten a bloody nose.
We had driven around for hours until we had figured the cops would be gone. We got home I was able to sleep for 1 1/2 hours, he then woke me up accusing me of cheating on him, with all of his "evidence." He choked me, bit me, pinched me, shoved his fist down my mouth, and a washrag. He called me all kinds of horrible names, all the while our son was laying next to me in bed. We "made up", then later that night he had gotten very high, he wanted to leave the house but he thought there were people around the house with guns trying to kill him - because of me.
He threw a chair out the window, with the baby in his arms. The cops were at our door within minutes.
When the cops came they wanted me to press charges, but I didn't. They couldn't believe how beat up I was, and wouldn't even tell them what had happened.
I left him again, he got out the next day. He found out where I was and came up to get me. He tried taking the baby to get me to come with him.
He is now in jail. We have been married for one year. We have a 7 month old son.
I am scared.
I am lonely.
I need help.
I love him so much. I can't even think straight. I guess this was a love story of a broken heart.
Thank you for reading and taking time of reading my story.