She hurt me bad
01 October, 2002
I am a 21 year old student in Ohio. I met this sweet, innocent, and beautiful girl when I was 19 and we dated for 19 months. Then one day she left me, after I had told her that I wanted to spend more time with her. She did it over the phone, what a bad way to break up with someone! Because I loved her and did not want to lose her from my life we tried to be friends. But we kept on fighting and so we stopped talking. However, before we stopped talking she had said several things to me that still get me upset today. But first let me back up a little bit.
After she left me I found out that she had been dating another guy in about half a week after it was over. And then I also found out that she had been spending time with him as well while we were dating, and he was hitting on her as well. But she says she did not leave me for him, as you will see, that was a lie. Well as we were trying to be friends and all she told me some very horrible things. She told me how when she first met this guy several months ago she wanted to date him. She told me that she had been "looking" at other guys for a while as well and that it was my fault because I did not completely open up to her. And she tells me that she was "mentally preparing herself for us to break up" and that was why she was not upset when she left me. Then she goes on to say that she had not been in love with me for a while, and that she did not know why she stayed with me for so long. As if I didn't feel bad enough after losing the only girl I loved, she says all these things to me. So from what she has said and done to me since our break up I realize this: she fell out of love with me a long time ago, and that she was just using me until some other guy came along. And she had sent me an email saying that this was true. Now I am not saying that I was completely innocent and was a perfect boyfriend, because I know I didn't open up to her as much as she needed me to.
However, she had done some things to me in the past that might explain why I did not open up to her. To begin with she had broken up with me after about a year for no apparent reason. She never said why. Then after a few days I took her back because I loved her. But then she started to ignore me and not want to spend as much time with me. We are both college students, and in the summer she went home and I stayed in our college town because of work. Well one day I went to visit her and she completely blew me off. Her and her brother were throwing a party and she kept leaving me alone at this party. Now I did not know anyone there and I am a shy person, so I was really uncomfortable. One time she had left me alone for about an hour. And when she was around, she kept saying how she was upset her ex-boyfriend had left so early. There was another time over the summer that she blew me off too, but it is a long story.
Anyway, I have come to realize this... it was not that I was not good enough for her, but she was not good enough for me. I was completely honest, faithful, and real. But she was the one who had constantly lied and was not 100% faithful, and told me that she was so in love with me when she was not. So if a similar situation happens to you, know that you are the better person!