30 July, 2010

I just wanted to say sorry to those boys I loved before. I never lied my love but I just not that contended of having someone that could understand me all the time. A brief story from my past, it was my ninth boyfriend, he was so sweet, gentle, and he really loves me, my parents know that. But it just happen that I’m not contended in his arms, I’m looking something that I want and I found it in my high school lover which is my sixth boyfriend. Although, his not the typical boy that everybody wants to have, but I love him, I really do but he always take me for granted knowing that I really love him and I’m ready to do all the things that he want but I was tired of loving him without doing anything. So, I decided to replace him with another guy, it’s hard for me to move on and I know it’s hard for him to accept the fact. I surrender something to my present boyfriend. Every day, I tried to be a good girlfriend and it’s very hard for me to pretend that I love my present boyfriend. As days, weeks, and months past by I learned to love him but not the same feeling with my high school lover. My present boyfriend did not know that I’m cheating on him for almost 3months because me and my past were still communicating to each other saying sweet words because I still love him but I don’t want to commit again for him. But after 6 months, I honestly shared to my boyfriend that I still love my ex and he broke me up, I also honestly shared to my ex that my ex owned myself and he was very angry and he couldn’t accept me anymore. So, I cry and try to kill myself. I know it’s a big karma for me but it’s a good lesson for me to learn.