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Heartbroken But still madly in love with him.
18 February, 2009
when we first ever started talking, it was October 31st 2007. He sent me messages on hi5, he added me to msn, we began talking from there, we spent hours on the computer talking to each other, although we lived in the same city and still haven't seen each other, it took us less than a month before he asked me if he could meet me, well actually we liked each other enough to start dating on-line before we met each other in person. When i was going to see him for the very first time, i was pretty nervous, and i knew i was gonna be shy as hell, when i got out of tje cab to go see him, holy cow was he ever tall, but he was really handsome, i loved his looks, and i was right, i was shy as hell, we were walking to go get some drinks from the store in the cold winter, and he kept commenting me on how good i smelled. i stayed with him that night, every time he kissed my neck it sent tingles down my body, i always had butterflies when i was around him, he made me the happiest girlfriend alive, i was in heaven, i fell madly, deeply in love with him, we spent hours together, watching movies and cuddling on the smallest single couch ever, but it was worth it, being so close to him. Our love was anything than ordinary, we did everything together, he was my life, my prince charming, than 5 months later, we started arguing, like any other couple, but it got worse, pushed went to shove and talking turned to yelling, but after every fight we made up, i still loved him just as much as i did when i first met him. The first time he ever hit me was in the chest, it hurt me so much that he did that to me, i left him, the day after, he emailed me, than he was calling me. crying to me telling me he was sorry and that he wanted me back, i took him back, because i knew i couldn't live without him, and i knew he was sorry, a month later everything was back to normal, than one day we got into a huge argument, we were pushing each other and constantly swearing at each other, I'd always take off from his place during the arguments and he'd get into his car and come and look for me, i knew he still cared about me, otherwise he wouldn't of came and looked for me. we fought mostly everyday after that, but we still stayed together, if we broke up it would only be for one day, he started to be controlling and more demanding and more of an ass hole, but i still loved him, we were gonna have a baby together, we were already finding names for the babies, but i couldn't get pregnant, i was infertility, i was depressed but mostly stressed.. he freaked out on me one afternoon, and that same day we fought all day and night, than i finally left him, i called the cops on him and charged him with physical assault. Oct. 20th 2008 was when we broke up for good, still 121 days later, i miss him and i think about him everyday, i think I'm caught up in the good memories of us together and i never wanted to remember the bad memories of us, i always blocked those out, right now im typing this story, thinking of him, wondering what it would be like if we were still together, he broke my heart, but somehow i still love him and miss him dearly, I'll never forget him, i hope one day, he'll realize how much he misses me, and when he does, i hope I'll be over him. Still madly in love with him, it hurts to see him with another girl, already telling her he loves he and its only been 121 days since we broke up, it hurts me alot, but i gotta face it and wake up, because in reality, i know we'll never be in his living room on that single couch cuddling and looking into each others eyes, and just knowing that they love you, without them having to say a thing, i love him, always will no matter what he did to me, my love for him is still very strong.