6 years means too long but it was not meant to last.......ade
05 February, 2009
i don't know what category this story falls to but it doesn't matter, what matters is, this story will reach other people and somehow make them realize and get to know a bit of my life.
so here it goes...
way back 2000, i was in 2nd year highschool...it was the first day of classes...all of my classmates were expecting for a transferee who was once their classmate in gradeschool...yep, almost all of my classmates has been classmates since gradeschool, and this particular transferee that they're waiting for is one of the kids they used to play with and be friends with...while they were all excited to see him, i on the other hand was wondering what is it with this boy that they're all so happy and excited about...the thought of it sucks though, that's what i thought, but for them of course it's meaningful, thinking about your lost classmate and found his way back is, yeah right, happy to think about. so i didn't bother entertaining much of my thoughts at that moment coz what i was concerned about was our new teachers for the year and to whom i will sit with for the rest of my sophomore year. so...let's leave it that way. if i wasn't mistaken, i was talking with one of my classmates when this boy "ton" entered the room with erwin, and the guys were all like "Uy ton, musta?" and the rest of the class all went that way acting as if he was gone for too long only to realize that he just enrolled in a seminary for his year 1 in highschool and now he transferred because he didn't get over with his homesick thing (on the later part, you'll find out why). so, to be honest, while the guys are busy asking him questions, i on the other hand was silent, bothered with my thoughts because the very first moment i saw him stepped into the room, i knew already that like him and i'm indeed crushing him. from that point, i was bothered with my thoughts of how to get to know him, if how can we be freinds and if how we'll be close. but i didn't let my thoughts bother me for too long. i stopped crushing him when i found out that he's courting kc. it's not too long when i had a crush on someone else from our class too. so, our sophomore year ended. at junior high, i did not expect ton to be my classmate for that year, but yeah, we ended up being classmates. i really do not have feelings for him anymore but he started teasing me and bullying me. inside the classroom, we would really fight. we'd exchange bad words, shout and scream at each other, we'd always have this cat-dog fight specifically during our chemistry and physics subject. he'd throw pieces of paper on my hair and bits of pebbles on my back, then the whole class would say "uyt, LQ". yeah right, so it went that way until i developed a crush on him again. we had this particular open forum wherein our adviser asked us to apologize to the people we've hurt and have misunderstandings with and as expected the whole class obeyed. ton said sorry to me when our forum was already done and that was when i was outside the room (can't remember what i was doing by then) and i accepted it. from there we became friends. there was also this time when we played t or c during our vacant, and whenever the bottle turned to me, i'd choose consequence and most of the task they asked me to do had something to do with him, either borrow his watch, pinch his cheeks and tell him he's soo cute, you know stuffs like that. Back then, I used to have this notebook where the class can write anything they want and that's where he asked me if we could be friends. i wrote back and said that i've been considering him as a friends since then, then he asked me if we could be more than friends (haha) and i told him "sure, we could be more than friends like brothers and sisters". And he seemed to got pissed with my response and so he told me that he was serious and he meant something deeper, he wanted to court me. So i said "SURE". so it went that way. since then, we tried to get to know one another, we'd always sit together, take breaks together, my bestfriend-pepi-would get jealous but in the end she never got between me and ton. so, the courtship stage went good. i finally said yes to him when it was my cousin's-our classmate's- birthday. so we ended up being bf-gf. at first, we'd fight and argue almost everyday, but we eventually grew more matured and sorted it out evenly. our story went fine not until he started playing games. rj - our bestfriend told me one night that ton's having an affair with someone from tuguegarao. they started as textmates (i don't have a cellphone by this time, that's why). at first, i didn't believe arjay but when i personally saw the girl's number on his phone and read her texts, that's the time i freaked out. i didn't ask him to choose either but he eventually ended it up with his fling. our senior year was bad. during the summer, he'd come in our house rarely. i even actually thought we were over. so i talked to him as soon as our classes started, i asked him if he still wanna continue what we have, he said yes and that was the only answer i was expecting. so we tried to keep it up but obvioulsy things were not going good anymore. he'd neglect me, he'd take me for granted like as if i was not his gf. then i just found out that he's been denying me from other girls and that he's somewhat courting joy - my exbestfriend. His cheating did not stop even when we were already in college. I passed the exam in baguio for the pharmacy course but i turned it down because i decided to stay in our town and take nursing course with him in the same school we went in to when we were in highschool. he cheated on me for like 5 times. 1.) the girl from tuguegarao 2.) my exbestfriend 3.) he was sees dating with one of the gals i am close with, issued with which he fully denied (i didn't believe him) 4.) the girl from his groupmate in duty, they were caught very sweet during their group outing in Pateng Gonzaga and the 5th one was with his bestfriend. Among the 5 girls, I lost with the 5th one. They never dated and they never had a relationship or any fling thing. But never did I feel comfortable with his betsfriend because it was too obvious that she's got feelings for my bf. To be honest, i was really insecured with her and makes me want to burst up like a volcano. But i managed to control myself, but, you know this feeling that no matter how hard you try to be friends with someone, you just can't it is because you feel that there is something is wrong with this person, i felt that and it's been inside me since the day ton introduced her to me. since then, we'd fight, almost everyday, and he seldom texts me. We'd even fight during our in-house review and he was really taking me for granted. It was christmas season of 2007, we attended the 1st 2 nights of misa de gallo together (that's what we usually do). but on the 3rd day, i asked him if i could attend the mass in school since they're having the mass on a later time compared to the time in the cathedral, and even begged him to let me attend the mass in school since i was having troubles of going to ned early because of my insomnia and for me to at least sleep a bit. he agreed. at first i thought he understood my situation that's why he agreed, but the news came that he's been attending the mass with his besftriend came in. my parents were the one who saw them first. my mom asked me if who the girl was, i just told my mom that maybe it's his cousin but soon, i found out that it was his bestfriend. Sen texted me one day and asked me if ton and i already broke up because she's been seeing ton lately going to their barangay picking up his bestfriend - joan - for the misa de gallo and dropping her off after the mass. that's the time i decided to talk to him and ask him about it. he denied it of course, he said it was just his friend who asked him to drop her off on their house and it happened for just once. i didn't interrogate him anymore but i know for a fact the he was lying and my instincts were right and why would my parents lie to me? right? He even broke it up with me one time because according to him he needs space and time for himself and so i let him be free for a while.. and when he found out that glenn -my crush- wants to court me, he ardently took me back. by the time we came back to school for the 2nd part of our inhouse-review, he courted me again and was pleading me to accept him again. and so i did have him again. but, one night, while we were reviewing, the conversation about his bestfriend just popped up and i just heard myself asking him to choose "is it me or your bestfriend?" he said, he doesn't have to choose and that there's nothing wrong with having a gf and a bestfriend at the same time. i know that but hello? the fact that he couldn't make up his mind of whom to choose totally drove me nuts. So, it meant that i, his gf for 6 years, have the same weight of importance with his bestfriend for just 6 months? that's stupid right and that's soo unfair!!! from that day on, i started thinking about breaking up with him until the day came, 23rd of december, i finally made my decision and so i did end everything up with him. i gave him back all his stuffs in my room and all the gifts he has given me. he tried to win me back but, i never gave him the chance. he had all his chance when we were still together but look at what he just did, he took me for granted. now he knows what he just gave away. it's been a year since we broke up and i must say, i am not bitter of what happened to us and where we ended up. i am happy now even without a bf. he's still trying to have me back, he's courting me again. i'm not closing doors but the thought of getting back with him doesn't sound cool anymore. 6 years, that's too long. we grew up together and experienced all of the "first times" together but it didn't mean anything to him,that's what i think. we'd even play cards together before. i supprted everything he wanted to do especially his hobbies but then i just came to realize how "mama's boy" he was that he couldn't even have the guts to ask his mom if we can go out and that he's too afraid to even admit to his mom that i was the one he's talking to whenever i'd call him. he was my first bf, no wonder why i let him cheat on me like that. but that's the way our story went. it could've been perfect if only he behaved. we're friends now and i guess we're better off that way for now. for me, the 6- years we were together don't really matter now. i don't know but that's how i feel. and even if i try to see him the way i used to look at hime before, it just doesn't feel right anymore, sounds stupid actually. anyway, what's done is done. if he's trying to bring our past back, that's up to him, but as of me, i'm happy being single and never been happier. we'll see what the future brings.
so there...that's not much of a story actually...