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Stupid me....i cant move on.....sad_angel

05 February, 2009

we've been lovers for just a few months, i don't even remember when it started and how it ended. what i know is that we were already having mutual feelings since we were having our training way back on august 08. he's married but they're not together and he had a gf. at that time, i was living with my bf since we have a baby. lots of things happened and we ended up being together. i left my bf with our baby and i lived in with pot. we're very happy & we're so in love with each other, i guess so, that people around us were thinking that we're really a legitimate couple (husband-wife thing). in a short span of time, we've been arguing a lot. let's say, we created our own ghosts. i was always jealous of his wife and it was very hard on my part to trust him coz i knew a lot of his 'kalokohan' in his past relationships. i was thinking that the reason was our age gap, he's 10 yrs older. i Thot he's d ryt one for me. i was wrong. he broke up with me for so many reasons that i tried to understand. i was hurt. it hurts me more when he had a gf after a week. she's as old as i am and i was surprise coz she's our frnd's ex. he told me he wasn't serious, he jst wana try it out w/her. but months passed by, they're stil together. i guess, he's serious with her but he's having a hard tym admiting it coz he knows il be hurt even more. he's not dat sweet when we're still together, he's not even treating me or even asking me out on a date, he's not eager to reply on my txt msgs, he wasn't dat affected when im not okay, he's not too excted when im around, he's not missing me unlike with her, he's more in love with her.. im thinking if she's loving him more, i dont know. all i know is that i loved him and im still loving him. we're friends ryt now, he asked me to be his bestfriend & i agreed. i dnt wnt to lose him dats d reason why.im still giving him everything. i was willing to give up things for him and im still willing to that. i will always be here for him even if he's just noticing me when he's in need. it may sound stupid but im still hoping dat he's going to love me again just like before and he'l try to appreciate me more. i cant move on, i dont want to move on. he'll be the last man dat i'll be loving for the rest of my life..:'c..

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