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I guess im not good enough....

04 February, 2009

Hi. okay my ex-boyfriend is amazing.. i obviously still love him. we started going out 1.12.08 and i broke up with him because there was rumors going around saying that he was in love with my best friend. he swore to god he wasn't and yet two days later they started going out and just left me out in the cold. so a few weeks go by and they break up. he asks me out again and of course i say yes... but then people tell him i was in love with his best friend and he broke up with me. we both go through about a month of being sad and depressed until we finally sit down and talk it over. we were going out.. again. a few months passed by and we just both kinda...stopped loving each other. so once again we break up.and then two days later he asks out my best friend. that made me realize how much i needed him and how much i loved him. i couldn't tell her cause she looked so happy and i didn't wanna be the one to screw it all up. i was just hoping she would see how much pain i was going through but she didn't. for the two months they were going out i couldn't hang out with her i couldn't look at her i couldn't even talk to her without her finding out i was in love with her boyfriend. after they broke up i just gave up..gave up on him and gave up trying to be with him.the summer came and i kept calling him because i felt like he was mad at me and i couldn't stand it.then the new school year came and we became best friends. he is currently dating another one of my best friends but i am fine with it because i realized being friends is probably the best thing that's ever happened to me.i know its confusing but now i can look at him without wondering when we are gonna have to go through another painful break up& just knowing that makes it amazing! and it is my fault because i was chasing after a guy who only hurt me. but after all life is too short to be anything by happy!

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