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Lost...

02 February, 2009

Everything seemed perfect. He was out of his relationship and we were hanging out. We were flirty and playful, and always laughing. Unfortunately he got back with his girlfriend who isn't friendly or wacky and crazy like him! She is cold and unaffectionate and I don't understand it at all. I saw the way he looked at me and I couldn't stand to be away from him. He made me laugh and smile and feel utter and complete happiness. But it was all taken away. We talked less and now basically not at all. I know he liked me... but he's committed..He is too loyal to give up on her even though she broke up with him twice before. He is beautiful and smart and ridiculously funny..and deserved someone that can be everything for him. I can be that person, I want more than anything to be that person. He is all I think about...every text, every doorbell ring, every bright blue truck that whizzes by..i think it could be him.. but it never is. I tell myself to move on..there is no point on wasting my time and energy on a guy with a girlfriend, but I can't help it. He is all i care about and all I want. He is everything to me and he doesn't even know it. He is so sweet and flirty back to me, yet so loyal to his girlfriend. I don't want to maliciously tear them apart..but I know it's not right and it's not going to last..and I know what we could have. Help me understand my situation...help me know what to do. I don't want to let go..but I have no other place to turn. I have become depressed and my mom has heard me talking about him in my sleep, even apologizing sometimes. He is always in my dreams and my thoughts..and he always will be, even if I am only 17.

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