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Solemn Goodbye

01 February, 2009

I was 18 then when i met  him his name is Jay.actually there's something weird i easily got attracted to a matured guys rather than my ka age. he was 28 then he is a scout ranger he came into my life so unexpectedly.. then he courted me and just like that. its not really on my plan to take him seriously but unfortunately i fell in love to him.It really felt good being with him, and just even take a glimpse of him.. is as if I'm always floating,everything seems so good and inspirational..but then like what they said reality hurts when in bites. the time had come that i just woke up his gone, and the most painful part is that he left me hanging. its so painful most especially when you would just fine yourself crying in the middle of the night.well good for me that it happen during vacation. months past its back to school time well... i must admit I'm still not over him i mean its like your breathing but is as if your no longer  living, everything was just an empty shell even me myself is an empty  being. its so hard for me to go on with my life when i get used  that his always beside me. it really take so much effort to plaster a fake smile to show them that I'm fine and OK but deep inside I'm slowly dying. a lot of guy courted me and i never take them seriously it is then i realized i start to hate life and its being unjust. i think its almost 7 months when i finally realize that its no good for me to cry over a spilled milk. then months past i met someone well not to make the story long he is my current boyfriend. he is the ideal type of boyfriend..i admit that i still cant forget jay and his irreplaceable but sometimes we have to move forward and learn to let go, no matter what it takes, and i wont ever deny that i do still love him until now.but life is full of uncertainties and surprises and its matter of choice, now im trying to be the best girl to my fiance  most especially now Jay is a happily Married man. i really have to look at the brighter side and continue my race.and be thankful that once in my life he came and make me feel so happy and a better person. 

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