With All of My Heart, Soul, Mind & Body
29 January, 2009
Well it's 2009 and I'm gonna be 24 this year, and my story started 10 years ago. I however don't think my story is over yet, I just think we need some time apart to appreciate the love that we shared for eachother. I'm pretty sure he would never read anything on here but if you do as you told me Valentines Day 2008 "You're Still The One".
We were both 13 and I saw him for the first time bouncing a basketball up to his door and I told my sister "I'm gonna marry that boy" (Had absolutely no clue who he was). I met him thru a friend who lived down the street a couple months later. We were "friends" but it was more of a convience for him in the begining. I would spend my money on him and spoiled him rotten because I was in love. He still wasn't very nice and we had our "fights" because he could see how much I loved him but he said on many occassions that our friendship would never be more than that. Well that "friendship" lasted 2 years, we talked and hungout almost daily but it was never more than friends. When I was 15 I got my permit and had a little more freedom and we seemed to lose touch a little, I think I just got smarter. I realized that maybe I was wrong I wasn't gonna marry him and maybe I needed to move on. Then after 3 or 4 months of not talking to him I got a phone call out of the blue it was him. He said his cousins were in town and they were going to a local Sporting Complex he invited me to go with. Of course at this time I'm convinced he only called me because he couldn't find a ride from anyone else (he didn't have a car). But I agreed to go. We got there and started playing Mini-Golf. We were on Hole#4 it was a hilly/oblong hole and it was my turn. I didn't think there was anyway I could even get close to the hole on my first shot but after a little bit of complaining I hit the ball, I got a HOLE IN ONE!!!! And if that wasn't surprising enough when I turned around he kissed me. We went to the mall after that and when we were walking around he disappeared and when we found him he had bought me a little CZ ring and officially asked me out. He apologized for the way he had acted and said he would spend the rest of his life making it up to me. Well that was July 2001 and this is now. After almost 7 years of living with him between his parents house, our apartment and the house that we bought he decided that what we had wasnt enough and he had fallen out of love with me. I guess we just got to use to the routine, he worked on his car in the garage until all hours of the night, I cleaned, did the laundry, folded it and put it away and the dishes, got up every morning and made his lunch. I mean the first 2 years were wonderful. After that it just turned kinda routine, get up go to work come home do the housework while he works on his car spend an hour or 2 on the couch together at night before we went to bed and get up the next morning and do it all again. I didnt really think about it then, we would go out on the weekends and we would hang out with people together on a regular basis but in the last 5 years I can probably count on my fingers alone how many "one-on-one" dates we had. I guess the roses 3 or 4 times a year and the "I Love You's" were enough for me. I didn't need anything but that, I knew that his car was his dream and because it was his dream it was my dream. I loved hearing about his plans for his "dream car" and I went without the extra things in life so he could spend everything he needed to on his car because I literally would have given my life for that man. Do I believe he "fell outta love" with me NO, do I believe that he is gone forever NO but what I do know is that I was his first he was my first and I think that guys need those 20-something years to explore and see what else is out there. He's always been the type to change his group of friends or have alot of different groups of friends that enjoy different things, some of them good and some of them bad. He came to a crossroad in his life and one day our paths will cross again.
However, about 10 months after our 7 year relationship ended he is engaged to be married to a woman who is 6 years older than him with a 10 year old daughter.
I don't know how to react to that so I have just opened up my life to Fate and Destiny, I Love Him that will never change and I know that IF IT'S MEANT TO BE then IT WILL BE. If it's not meant to be then im glad that he was a major part in my life and i know that without him i would not be the person i am today.
So the moral to my story is when your in a relationship keep it alive, keep it young, dont fall into a routine and think that the "I Love You's" and the "Goodnights" are enough make sure you make time for eachother and spend qualitly times making memories to last a lifetime, because if you don't you'll have a lifetime of heartache saying "What if"
And To You......If you read this you know its you. I Love You With All of My Heart, Soul, Mind & Body Forever & Always, You & Me, Me & You.