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Still love you

11 January, 2009

its been i month since we broke up, our relationship got 1 year and 2 months, but its end now, i don't want him to go, but i don't know how to

 stop him, and the fact is,i still love him now, its hard to move on if you're feelings are still there, he court me since were 3rd year high school and at first i didn't like it and we don't have feelings for each other, he just court me because he know I'm different among the girls he knew, but after we got lover, each day i felt something for him, i don't know why, and the biggest fear have come, the day i felt in love with him, we had some fight that turn into break up, but we easily fixed it, he always tell me sweet words that made me feel so right, he feels in love with mo too, he so sweet and caring, I'm satisfied of him, but he just do something that i can't forget, the time we had break up, after 1 month at that time i heard that, his new girlfriend was my best friend, when i heard it my world got down, and i don't know what to do, when i knew it, it was their break up, it hurts me because they hide it for me, they made me damn and stupid, i just cant help it but to accept the fact that he hurt me, after wards i heard that he want me to come back, because he still do love me, and i believe his lies, i accept him once again, i cant help it coz i do love him, i know he love me so much, i felt it., but I'm type of a girl that have a very high pride, and I'm not showing my love, my care and everything, and i regret it,

 

we got holding hands when our 6 months and he first kiss me when our 10 months, i say i love you to him in personal at 1 year, that's what i am. I'm boring, and i disobey him, i didn't  follow his rules with me,  his always angry at me but i keep on smiling, i didn't do what my responsibility to him as her girlfriend, he and my friends got misunderstanding, they have quarrel, and its time to choose, of coarse i choose my friends, my friends are the most important, and he accept it, each day  he become selfish, he don't want me to close with boys, he don't want me to have a lot of txtmate, he so jealous, but i disobey it he have a lot of rules but the rules didn't work with me coz i didn't follow it, i have a lot of mistake in our relationship i act like a child and i love it coz that's what i am,

 

this is the biggest mistake i have done, his special day has come, its time for his birthday and we have great plan but that plan was ruined by me, i come but i didn't come to seen him but to come to visit my friend, how bad i am , but i have no choice i done it i must accept my mistake , the most hurting part is, he waited me to come, but i didn't, and i was push him away for me. i told him to find someone better for me to appreciate his love and he do what i say, after

we broke up coz of his birthday  coz i cant face him in what i have done, that's why i push him away for me though i still love him, after 3 weeks i heard he court her classmate and now they together and it hurt me to see them , he want me to come back but i refuse coz i don't want to interfere their relationship, though he still love me coz iknow someday he will got developed and he will fall in love someday , now i act to have bf to move on and to forget our memories together though its hard i have to be brave and face it, though he promise to come back i don't want to

 wait for nothing , well if we destine for each we will, i love him though hes gone i will always love him....

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