How Long Do I Have to Wait?
06 January, 2009
I met the guy I'm in love with ten years ago, and since then we were always SO close. He was the first person I thought of when I needed a shoulder to cry on, and we always flirted. We became really good friends, and whenever we were in a room together it was like nobody else existed. It took me nine years to realize that I loved him.
Last year, there was this girl we both knew who liked him. The girl told me he loved me. I asked him if this were true, and he said yes. I told him how I felt about him, too. We decided not to date right away for the sake of our friendship, but somehow it felt like we were dating for a few months - I suppose it was the way we acted, or knowing that we both loved each other.
Then the girl previously mentioned decided to take matters into her own hands, and the next thing I knew, he was calling me up saying he thought it was better if we waited a while to take our relationship any further. He said he still loved me, but he wanted this to turn into something more than just another quickly-ended relationship. He said he thought we had that potential, but he wasn't sure he was ready to reach it yet.
For some reason, I was more heartbroken than all the bad breakups I've ever had put together. We didn't see each other for three months. When we did, we picked right back up where we left off - always gravitating toward each other somehow, acting like we were the only ones who existed, flirting constantly. But it's been seven months now since he told me that, and I've been waiting all this time. I've turned down anyone else who asked me out just for him, even a guy I really liked. I don't know how much longer he's going to make me wait. I know he still loves me; our friends tell me he still talks about me a lot, and sometimes I see him looking at me from across the room. I've known him for ten years, and by now we know each other inside and out. I know he would never do anything to hurt me on purpose because we're such good friends.
I really really love him, and I can't picture myself without him or with anyone else. I feel like we're meant to be together, as crazy as that sounds. He once told me the same thing, so why is he making me wait so long? How long am I going to have to wait before he re-realizes we belong together?