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It way be long but you won't regret it...

24 November, 2008

I guess that in a way i never will forget how much i love my best friends. It started when i was 12 years old. I was never the type of person who dated anyone just to date them. I hadn't dated a whole lot but i wasn't unexperienced. So here i was in the 7th grade, 12 years old and i had it all i had a wonderful boyfriend who was also my best friend. i had the best teachers. i had wonderful friends that i had known since i was 5. My boyfriend Trevan always knew what i was thinking even when i played it tough and told them everything was fine. He was always able to read me, he held me tight and was the best person in the world. I couldn't imagine life any differently. but Trevan was the type of person who didn't take anything a wandering soul. he couldn't be told what to do. but i couldn't help it i was in love. he was my light and my dark my world. But as many people say life isn't fair. We broke up some time later. It took my awhile to get over him I'm not even sure if a year later i am over him. But life goes on and so i did.

After Trevan i didn't know what to do so i turned to my best friend. His name was Trevor. He helped me through it all he sat quietly on the phone while i cried myself to sleep night after night and then would hand up. I waited while i ranted and raved about how much i hated how much he hurt me. He saved my life i wasn't prepared to fall in love with him too. But what can i say I'm human and i did i fell in love with my best friend. AFter a couple weeks i finally got up the courage and told him how i felt. He felt the same way about me so on March 23rd 2008 Trevor and i began our journey up and down the hills of life.

We were perfect easily the cutest couple at school. Everyone talked about us and i was constantly asked how we were doing. It quickly became apparent that this wasn't some silly child like fling. We Were In Love. It was mid May and we knew that we couldn't make it through that summer without each other. So we came up with a plan. AFter my mother would go to work we would walk to each other. Im not sure why i never told my mother but i didn't and after 2 weeks of fun it all ended when my mom found out. She put an end to it and got me a babysitter to make sure that i never got away with anything ever again.

This didn't sit to well with Trevor and he became distant. We wouldn't talk for days at a time and he wouldn't call me back but there was nothing i could do about it i wasn't able to see him and tell him how much i loved him. The only bad thing about Trevor was that he told the worst lies. He loved telling lies he loved that people believed him too. But i was in love i was naive and blinded by it. He told lies of his father an abuser a drug addict and a killer. How his own brother killed him and how his uncle had killed thousands of people and was an assassin for the United States. I didn't believe him really but i didn't want to say that because i knew that i could lose him. He loved me but he was stubborn.

I knew that our love was quickly free falling toward the ground. So i tightened my hold on him and i pulled tighter and tighter. I started calling more and more just to talk to him. he was now not just a lover but he was a drug. I needed him more that i needed food or water. Just Shy of 6 months on September 14th Trevor and i broke up. I cried for hours. I stayed up and stared at his picture hoping that someday the pain that i felt on that slow cold and lonely night would go away. That was all i wanted all that i could hope for all that i would needed. I came to such

ool the next day my brain fried from staying up all night, i was broken my heart was broken and he didn't seem to even care. But by that time i was used to him breaking his promises it was just a normal thing now.

i walked into school the next day and right away my friend Tyler noticed how much i had been affected. For the longest time i went my day by day not noticing anything deeply set in my emo ways that i had given up to be the perfect little girlfriend. but somehow i have fallen in love with Tyler and i have been hoping that he is different than other . so on November 3rd Tyler and i began going out.

We are now very happily in love and i hope that you unlike I never have to know that pain of losing everything.

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