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When a slap isn't painfull anymore..
22 November, 2008
I've been wit this girl for over 6 years. things were so wonderfull. we use to be an ear to hear, an eye to see, a heart to feel a mind to care and my arms to protect her from all danger. it took a wrong ending. she went overseas to pursue her studies. im kept back here..finance isn't really a problem. it was more to fear of leaving my family behind and going somewhere far to study n be with her. i would rather spend my time with my family as my parents are old. i mean she knows that.but as time went by. we were slowly drifting apart. i found out she has been lying to me so much. i forgave her. for years of being together maybe she felt she missed to much in life. i forgave her giving her another chance with more freedom to feel more comfortable with her life there as she has no one there to care for her but her friends. til i found out there was a guy involved. and they were sexually involved. i broke down. a guy like me. i broke down so badly. i felt my world was just like a fairy tale though the tale has sentences with full stops, but to me it was like the whole book was over. i mean come on, if u have a sexual relationship, it proves one thing. i'm now no one. sexual relationship is meant for the one whom u love. it acts as a license or a permit to say that we're in a relationship and that its meant for me to be different from other love, for eg: family love or love for a friend.. how could she do it? yet i was so in love wit her that i gave her another chance telling her begging her never to hurt me..and i was just thinking to my self. we were in love for more than 6 years sharing everything, so close to each other, we even planned our kids names if it was a boy or a girl wat would it be.. and i had to beg her to be sincere to me begging her never to hurt me that way.. it was so painful i kept it in me.and i took her back. giving her more space thinking that it was cuz i didn't treat her as well as the new guy was. it was common sense. every guy wants to get in their pants, they would be so sweet just to get what they want. but she should know what are her limits.i didn't treat her badly, i treated her like my love. i took care of her more den i took care of my self. there was a period of a few months, i had to starve my self, having just one meal a day just so i could save enough money to take my love for a great expensive dinner. i took care of her more den my self. and all she can say is ' i'm sorry'. yet i took her back in my life. then one day she comes telling me that she cant take it anymore. yes we do fight every now and then. but wat relationship doesn't involve fighting. i scold her because i care for her. i advice her because i care for her. i stop her from doin things because i dont want her regretting and telling me sorry again. i wasnt stoppping her from having a life. i was stopping her from doing the wrong things.