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I hate this feeling

14 November, 2008

Hi to all

Here's my story

 

I'm with this guy for nearly 6 years...I love him... but now i simply can't understand his feeling.... he told me he can't marry me coz he is  having financial problem and that i will be unhappy in the long term....

 

When i asked him whether he loved me he answered that he can't replied to me and although the fact that we'll end up with different people, nothing will change between us....

 

I am confused... I don't want to be his mistress or whatsoever....i can't do this..... still i can't live without him... he is a part of me .... i can feel him... its like i simply need him for living..... it aches to think we'll be apart someday.....

 

My parent also don't approve him...I'm a degree holder whilst he hasn't studied that much... it doesn't matter to me... i know i might regret it someday..but my love for him is real..... i am willing to have a hard life as far  as he is next to me.....

 

 

i lost my virginity to him, believing that i would be one day his wife... In my culture, sex before marriage is a sin....

I doubted he loved me... some times back he told me that he feels no more love... still when i decided to let go, he comes running back to me... i can't understand his animosity.....

 

why don't he go out with some girls who can satisfy his sexual needs, why does he need me when he feels nothing special..????

 

Even when i am with him i do not feel like his girl.... he treats me as a friend or worst......

 

 

He swore to me that there's no other woman in his life besides me.....

 

It aches a lot....

 

He doesn't love me yet he doesn't want me to go.....Even i can't let go....

 

 

i want know whether he is only using me or he really is attached to me.... after all its a 6year relationship....

 

By the way, I'm 23 and he is 27....

 

Thanks for reading....

 

Comments are welcome

 

 

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