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It's Time To give up!

11 November, 2008

My aunt registered me in a certain searching site on the Internet but it was her who uses it and just use my name..just recently when i decided to open my profile and start chatting in this site because i don't have anything to do during my past time...it was my 2nd day since a start  chatting in the site when this guy entered my profile..he send me a message saying that he wants to met me because he was at the same place where i was located that time..by the way, this guy is a foreigner..out of curiosity i agree met him in the mall..that's where it all started...after that meeting we already go out together and enjoy the company of each other,..he is nice and funny that's why i like him,...at first it was just all attraction..but as time goes by it blooms into love..i expected a lot from the relationship and hope that it will lead into something serious.One day he told me that he needs to go to his friends house somewhere out of town, i said yes..he did not texted me at that night so it made me confused coz it was the first time he's far and never bother to contact me..the next morning i was shocked when he texted me and said that he dated a girl and now she's already his girlfriend...i don't know exactly what to feel..i was hurt,disappointed and i felt so stupid..later when i realize that i don't have the right to feel that way because he never told me that he loves me..it was just me who assumed that there is something between us..i told him its okay and i understand though I'm really hurting inside..


Weeks past he contact me again and told me that they broke up..i felt happy and hope again..at that time i told myself that i will do everything to make him love me...though he told me many times that he doesn't want to commit with me...it hurts me a lot but I'm willing to take the risk..even if it only means that I'm giving him the friendship with benefit..even if i know it will hurt me in the long run...


i know it was stupidity but i still pursue it...but then again the time that i was afraid of came..he met again 8a girl and he likes her so much...this time i decide to finally give up and think i need now to accept the fact that he can't be mine.I know it takes time for me to forget him but this is what i have to do to save myself from being miserable though i am already right now.I still offer him my friendship till now..he even told me that he cares for me a lot and he wants me to be happy..if he only knows that he is my only happiness..but I'm starting to move on now..i know someday he will realize my worth..

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