Online love is it possible???
08 July, 2008
I still remember everything vividly, it was 2nd June, 2007,i went online, only for a few minutes since i had exams going on, i saw what i had received a photo comment, so i checked it, the person said they wanted to be friends. I accepted, and we began writing to each other.We told everything about ourselves, and even though we lived miles apart, this didn't seem to matter.We were very smiliar, and had the same likes and interests.
Very soon we became pretty good friends, we messaged eachother everday.He asked me for my no. at first i was scared to give it out to a total stranger, but then i learned to trust him.He soon became part of my daily life, i had to hear from him, of i would feel as if somethng was wrong.
He was such a good friend. But something began happening through those messages, I fell in love with him. Deeply and madly in love with him, he said "i love you " to me but i thought he was teasing me, so i just ignored it. He was in my every heartbeat though. I thought about him everynight before i went to bed, i prayed that he'll be safe. I did the same thing each morning i woke up.
Then something totally uncool happened. I let him meet by best friend. she ws totally over- protective of me.She was more like a mother than a best friend. She tried to protect me from everyone and everything.They both began to have arguements.This upset me alot, but i loved them both, so there was nothing i could do, then i don't know what happened, they both had some fight over some thing, and she never spoke to him again.So they totally ignored eachother.
Then he began to get busy with his college life, and his studies, but i still loved him, i also loved him like a friend.I don't think i can explain, yeah i loved him, but our friendship was also important to me.One day he told me he was in love with a girl and he proposed to her,I felt as if someone literally pierced my chest.But, i smiled and said "I'm happy for you."
I really was, i was happy that he was happy, and that he had everything he wished for. Still, i asked god to bless him, and keep him safe.As long as he was happy, so was I.He was my first love, and i knew that he would be my only love.
Many other guys tried to have me as their gf, but i couldn't. i wouldn't.i already loved someone. i think i deserved the pain, because i turned down many guys, iw as the type of girl who never wnated to fall in love, who didn't want a bf.
He called me his best friend, and i called him mine, he was the only friend who stuck with me, my best friend moved to another country, but he was still there.The miles between us didn't matter.
I couldn't help it, my love for him only grew stronger eachday. So i made a promise to myself "i'll always love him no matter what, but if i have to step out of his life for him to be happy, i would." sure it hurt me a lot, but i was gonna do it for him.
On my final day online, he signed in, we said hi to eachother. Then he said to me "what do i do?? I'm in love with a girl, how do i propose to her". again i felt the pain of someone stabbing me, but i took a deep breath, and said
-"i don't think you should."
-'u shud know someone long while b4 doing tht"
-"i know her pretty well"
-"and be sure she loves you with all her heart."
-"well, i dunno abt her, maybe we'll find out just nw"
"it's you, i love you, i wouldn't told u earlier, but i thought it would ruin our friendship"
I was shocked, i thought he was teasing me agian, because, he is a very mischievous person. But he assured he he wasn't. i just couldn't believe it, i felt the hot tears running down my face.I told him how much i loved him, and he couldn't believe it either.
It was a total shock, i thought this couldn't be true, he actually loves me back?! And, he said that he told me that he told me he had a gf just to check my reaction.I wanted to kill him, but if i did, i would also die, because i couldn't live without him.
He loved me so much that he did all this for me?? he told me he had a gf to see my reaction?? does he love me as much as i love him??
I really love him.I want to be with him only, we promised eachother we won't leave eacthoer,he trusts me, and he totally can.I'll never do anything to betray his trust.
But i love him so much that i'm scared to loosing him, if anything happens to him, i'll die. i care for him more than i care for myself, and m really scared of losing him.
i love him i really do. you know they say one always loves more than the other? i don't know if this is true, bu i love him sooo!m just happy that i finally told him how i felt.
i miss him every minute of the day,i wanna meet him, but i know that i also won't wanna leave him if i meet him. there's just something so special about him, that no one else has. no one can ever replace him in my life, i live for him, and only him.
-i'll love you till the day i die always and forever.
i love you bannu, no matter what, m always with you.