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An almost perfect relationship

25 May, 2008

I met this guy last January 2008 at a disco my friends and I accidentally crashed into. I just came from a vacation and it was my first night to be back to my hometown. I was 15 then but I've had numerous relationships before, so i would actually know if a guy is trying to reach for me. Someone asked for my number that night and i found it to be a friend of my cousin before.He was 4 years my senior. His name is Jonathan. And well, i knew he had the motives.

He sent me messages after wards which I'm not really serious about. Two days later we had a relationship for fun. We both knew we can hurt each other so we tried to deal with it lamely. We weren't serious, i thought. One night in February he tried to reach me to say he wanted a break up. That moment i felt like my ego was stepped all over. A guy breaking up with me? I said no way. The second time around that he asked for it, i gave him what he wanted. I can't deprive him from the freedom he longed for so i let him go. I held him the first time because i didn't want my ego to be stepped on. I play the guy. not the guy playing me. The second time i guess i was tired of protecting my pride. I gave him what he wanted but something unexpected happened too. He told me he already loved me. That was the first time he did and it went down into the depths of my whole being. I did not know if i should believe or not.But one thing is for sure, i wanted to believe it.

The following days we still kept our communication. We both know we are free from each other but somehow we sensed the need to be still together. We got even more closer and two months later we both admitted we wanted to see each other again. The kiss we shared when we started the relationship, it was the reason why we still held each other. Went he went home from school we had a chance to meet each other again for the second time. We talked about us and what we feel about each other. We both admit we needed each other but we still don't know if it's love. We were players, all we know is play, not love.

Days that followed were all unexpected. We tried to see each other as often as we can. We message each other all the time. Always made sure communication was there and until last Friday, May 23, 2008 everything went down like nothing happened. We were together that day island hopping and when we were about to go home, i left my phone on his vehicle. He read a message there from a guy who claims to be my boyfriend. When he returned my phone, there i realized everything. He got mad at me. I know.I tried to call him but he didn't answer. I know he was hurt. But the fact was that he got hurt about something that isn't true. I tried to call him that night and explained that everything was just a lie. That i wasn't cheating on him because i was already serious about the relationship we were trying to get ready. He cried while we were talking and my tears sprung down as well. The sound of his voice gently stings my insides as i know clearly that he was hurt. He didn't say goodbye to me but i know it was the end of it.

The times we shared was a preparation of the relationship we wanted to have. A relationship where we can both say that we have given ourselves to each other. The time of our lives when we can say we already know what love is and that we already feel it wrapped around us. This is the time i can say i love him, and i will always be. He never told me goodbye so ill be waiting. Waiting till we both decide to continue the almost perfect relationship we had.

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