26 July, 2012
It's been 2 days and 1 hour since he left me w/ a promise, promise that only meant to hide his lies,...
Madalas kung sino pa yung taong naghahanap ng seryosong relasyon, ng taong magmamahal at mag aalaga sa kanila ng totoo at panghabang buhay,.. sila pa yung taong npapatapat sa taong, naghahanap lang ng pampalipas oras, o kung hindi man, taong mananakit at iiwan lang sila,para ipagpalit sa inaakala nilang mas mahalaga pa kaysa sayo,...
We we're clasmates on high school, I've known him as a happy go lucky person, maloko, palabiro, masayang kasama, but we we're never been that close,... One day, few months after high school graduation .. he texted me in the middle of the night.. "puwede ka pa bang lumabas? dito ko s my comp. shop malapit sa inyo",.. w/ out hesitation, i went out to meet him,.. we had a little conversation,..same thing happen after a few days,.. but then because we're too busy focusing on our studies, we loose our contact, 1 yr after graduating at college,.. we met again,.. and that time he started courting me, its only been a while but i already gave her my approval to be my boyfriend, sinagot ko sya kagad not because i wanted to used him to get over w/ my 3 yrs relationship, but because i knew i needed someone to lean on,he then introduced me to his family and friends,.. i was so happy then, then 1 day he confessed that he is sick and he just went w/ a few operations and needed one again, my feeling does not changed,.. it was then i knew that i am so into him, sweet thoughts surround us whenever were together, and then i finally gave all that i can give to a man,it was so painful but...i trusted him, thought that he's the one,.. but after that day, he suddenly change, i had this feeling that was it because he already get what he wants from me?...so i confronted him,having the thought that everything can be settle w/ a serious and calm conversation,and he told me his reason,said that nothings change,that it was because of his situation,he's having a hard time w/ his illness,he said he feels so helpless,unable to do what he wanted to do with his life,...and so i promise to him that i'll never leave him,...and that i really meant.
But then, the next day morning , he told me he wants to say something but didn't know how to start,...
He told me that we can't see each other anymore, he just made a plan, that after 5 years we'll meet again,.. said we had to focus for now w/ our goals,...
I didn't know what to say,..
My first replied, showed how i was so mad at him, thinking i was only played by him,..
But after a few hours of thinking, i came to realize that i can't leave him,i love him so much, that maybe he only said that because his situation, so i told him that i won't leave him,but the only thing he said that he is just doing this for us, his love will never change, and so with his decision,..
I felt so alone that time, so helpless, i don't know what to do,..i was so in shake,..
I've given him all that i can give,..
I knew his hiding something from me,.. i can't take the thought that he already got want he wants that why he's leaving me now,...
Until now i'm so confused,.. i'm still waiting for his decision to changed,..
I love him,.. and i'm just afraid that anything can happen in that 5 years,...='(